How to Use Mental Surrender When the Mind is Freaking Out.

Have you found yourself at the point where a mental surrender of your thoughts is the only sane thing to do? I know I have and frequently arrive at this type of scenario. In your gut, you may know that you need to let the thoughts go, but for your mind, it may not be that simple.

Learning to surrender current stressed out thinking is an essential part of maintaining a sane mind. So if you have a hard time letting go of thoughts that are amplifying worry, anxiety, stick around and I will teach you what I know.

We Drive Ourselves Crazy?

How many times have you found yourself ripe with anxiety, stressed and obsessing over crap you cannot control? Whether you answered once, many times or that you do it nonstop, I have another question for you. Who’s fault or problem do you think that is?

Well, I am here to tell you that whether someone else, genetics or whatever else “that seems” like the cause, that isn’t reality my friend; You yourself are actually the root cause of this very personal struggle. Of course, I do understand that this is a difficult pill for many to swallow, but that doesn’t negate its reality.

The good news about being the cause of driving yourself crazy is that you then can be the one to bring yourself back to sanity. Sure, maybe you can’t control the economy, the government or your family from acting in ways that may trigger your worry. But it means that you can take back control of your mind, and if you can do that you are in control of everything you need.

Don’t get it messed up now. I understand the difficulty of cutting off our minds from the process of worry and anxiety. When stopping this self-fulfilling process It can feel like you are having to bring a freight train to a halt. You hit the breaks and that sucker doesn’t stop immediately. No, about a mile down the tracks it finally expends all of its forward momentum.

For many of us that are prone to anxiety what hasn’t been realized is that we have this ability to mentally surrender. This is a sad fact. But no need to lament over what hasn’t been known. Instead, let’s use that energy to do something that will help us take our minds back.

What is Mental Surrender?

It seems that generally surrender is talked about in the sense of someone giving up their personal freedom. That the stakes of continuing the current mission have risen too high, and it is time to lay down the struggle. Maybe it is about soldiers that lay down their guns in hopes their lives be spared. Or maybe a criminal on the run that decides they are done running and turns themselves into the police.

Many have a negative connotation of what surrender is. I get it though, in the examples of surrender given above, those individuals are losing their personal freedom. This is a scary thing, who in their right minds desires to have their freedom taken away?

But rest assured, you will lose no freedom by dropping the fearful thoughts that you are freaking yourself out over. In fact, it can be the very act that breaks us out of a personal mental prison, back into a state where we can be mentally free.

But what is it, to mentally surrender? Well, Intuitively we all know what it means, and we know how to do it. But that would require us to let go of what we think is “so damn important” at this moment. To mentally surrender is to drop it. Drop the argument, drop the cleverness, drop the self-pity, drop the fear, drop it all. Doing this because continuing with the current thought process is causing anxiety and will continue to cause anxiety that is entirely unnecessary. Only after dropping all the shit and allowing a mental surrender will we get to the source of why we are freaking ourselves out.

How you can Mentally Surrender Your Thoughts to the Moment.

I would say that the vast majority of people are capable of surrendering themselves to the moment. Since you have the capability of searching the internet for an article such as this than I am quite confident that you have that ability as well.

Having the ability for mental surrender and knowing how to use it are, of course, two very different things. So what I will teach you here is how to drop the shit when you are freaking yourself out.

1. Catch Yourself Freaking out and Decide to Knock it off.

As you may probably already realize, you likely will not stop freaking out if you don’t know you are. So if you are able to realize that you are in this nasty mental/emotional space, that is a reason for gratitude. Why? Because if you are able to come to know that your mind is out of control, you then have a platform from which to stop it.

Of course just because I know I am obsessing on a thought, doesn’t mean it will just magically disappear. I and also you will need to make the decision to let that thought, that worry, that fear, go. Don’t think about letting it go forever, just until the mental freak out blows over.

It is cliche to say just breathe when stressed out, but it is cliche for a reason. Because it is important, and it is important because it works. Let go of the thoughts no matter how important they seem at the moment, breath, and relax into the moment. The mental surrender of anxiety-causing thoughts will reveal emotions but also lead to peace.

Photo by Natalia Figueredo on Unsplash
2. Commit to Staying Awake.

When you are freaking yourself out, you are most likely in a living dream. You are probably lost in thoughts of future bad things happening, or past things that have already happened. And hell, maybe something bad will be happening in the future or already happened in the past. But dwelling in the past about junk that we can’t change won’t do any good. And as studies have found out, we lose a considerable amount of IQ points while we are stuck in fearful thinking. Therefore, even if there is trouble coming or has gone, freaking out about those troubles will not assist you in any positive manner.

The thing is that the only way you will ever be able to respond positively to what’s coming is to have your head securely attached to your shoulders. Not floating off in some nightmarish thoughts that you habitually haunt yourself with. The possibility of the bad is real, but your thoughts about them, sorry, but not so much. Those thoughts are all just a best guess, maybe they will come true, maybe not. But either way, wake the hell up and face the moment like the intensely strong individual that you deep down are.

If you have been able to give your troubled thoughts up to a mental surrender you are in good shape to handle what life gives. Having gotten your head out of worry and into the present moment gives you the opportunity to actually live. Commit to staying awake, don’t waste this opportunity.

3. Stay Awake By Spreading the Vibes.

To worry and obsess expends a great amount of energy. When all of that energy is used positively in other places, then TADA there is much less energy to torture yourself with.

There are of course a tremendous amount of ways for you to use your energy positively. It is important to use that energy for taking care of our daily affairs, but it is also extremely important to spread good vibes as we do. The recovery program I frequent says that “we only keep what we have by giving it away.” What this means to me is that the only way to keep my sanity is to spread my sanity. The only way to feel loved is the spread the love. To keep my calm and relaxation, you guessed it, spread it around.

To spread the positive vibes consciously we must be mentally/emotionally awake. We need to be present in our bodies, not floating off in our minds. It requires dropping our negative judgments about what we are seeing and hearing. And instead, replacing those judgments with blessings of goodwill.

This may be difficult to do at times when our minds are having trouble with excess stress. But I guarantee regular practice will bring the positive results of being mentally/emotionally lighter and better able to deal with anything life hands us.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We sincerely wish you amazing success in letting go of troublesome thoughts and emotions through mental surrender. We realize surrendering to the moment is a simple process but not necessarily an easy one. Your success will show in the sanity and positive vibes you feel.
I offer you the challenge of applying what you have read here, as well as experimenting with your own healthy ways of taking back your energy from anxiety. If you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, you will greatly benefit.

Reclaiming Your Ambition from Feelings of Anxiety.

Anxiety is a problem for a great deal of our fellow human beings. But what if I told you that what is hidden inside that anxiety is the creative energy of our ambition. The home of “strong desires to do or achieve”, as ambition is defined.

We all have ambition, from the people with the greatest amount of excited energy to the most stoic and subdued individuals that exist. There is a bubbling of creative impulses in all of us. And yes that means you as well.

If you respect and live right by this ambition it is possible to bring about the life of your dreams. But neglect it or use it irresponsibly, and find yourself in a world that is starving with meaning and ripe with anxiety.

Anxiety and Stress.

You don’t have to be a Psychiatrist to understand what anxiety is. It is an uncomfortable pest that enhances fearful thinking, distorting the way we see the world. Anxiety will leave a person feeling worried, unsafe and doubtful of abilities, as well as overly leary of the intentions of others.

Anxiety is not the same as stress but it is built upon stress. Meaning that the more stress builds, the more prone to the anxiety we will be.

This, of course, isn’t to say that stress is bad. In fact, a certain amount of stress is essential to having a life that is challenging and rewarding.

When we feel stressed it means there is a challenge at hand. It means our current skills have met up with a situation where we may not believe they are up to the task. That stress can be a motivator, it is the energy coming from inside of us to wrestle success out of the current opportunity. But if that potential motivator is resisted too often, gnawing anxiety will begin to grow.

A healthy you is destined for stress and a reasonable amount of struggle. It is how you learn, and how you grow and shape yourself into a well-rounded individual. But if you wish to keep this stress from growing into anxious feelings you better learn to listen to the impulses that are at the heart of the growing stress.

Anxiety Hints at Your Ambition.

When it comes to anxiety, like anything else in this world, it is made of pieces. You know, old unused energy over here, a bunch of moments of being too hard on yourself for not meeting expectations over there. It grows like a snowball rolling down a snowy hillside.

In this snowball that continues to increase in size is the energy of bodily impulses. It is the energy of ambition, it is the creative energies that lie at the core of you and me.

To feel anxiety is to feel pieces of yourself that are looking for your attention. Wait, not just looking for it, they are begging for it. Like a crowd of starving people waiting to have some food tossed into their vicinity. They are loud, they are needy, and they need your love desperately. Deny them that compassionate attention and they may eventually chase you down and threaten everything you care about.

Each impulse that fuels anxiety has a strong desire to do or achieve something. They are loaded with ambition. Now the important question is this. How do we get in touch with all of this hidden anxious ambition so we can find a productive use for it?

Anxiety
Photo by Marco Lastella on Unsplash

How to Reclaim Your Ambitious Energy From Anxious Feelings

1. Recognize Anxiety as Such.

Being able to recognize when you’re anxious is critical to being able to get to reclaim its energy for good use. But how do you recognize anxiety? You slow down and give yourself a chance to spot its symptoms.

In an article from healthyplace.com, they give a list of physical and emotional symptoms that can be a clue to being anxious. Here are some of the most common.

  • Nausea or dizziness
  • Headaches
  • Muscle tension
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Irritability
  • Feelings of apprehension
  • Feeling tense and jittery

If you notice 2 or more of these symptoms going on with yourself it’ll be in your best interest to take stock of what is going on. Why? Because important energy is likely being bottled up. And I guarantee you will not enjoy the uncomfortable mental obsession and depression that will result from not dealing with these feelings.

These feelings may begin subtly enough that you may not even recognize them. But eventually, if the energy within them is not tapped into and used, the subtleness could morph into great pain. After recognizing these feelings the next step is taking responsibility for them.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Anxiety.

After you recognize anxiety it is important to take responsibility for it. By this, I mean that no matter what led us having this anxiety, we need to realize that it is now ours to deal with.

This can be an unnerving but empowering realization to arrive at. You might want to place blame on others for feeling this anxiety. Maybe you want to blame the government, family, the job or whatever relationship you feel has wronged you. Well, I am here to tell you, that is mostly a useless activity. If you find yourself stuck in blaming others for your painful feelings, do yourself a favor and knock that shit off.

The only productive use for blaming is to do so with the intent of taking back power for current feelings and hidden ambition. Then use that power to set healthy boundaries with self and others, feel emotions, and getting all that energy locked onto creative and productive outlets.

 

Anxiety
Photo by Avi Richards on Unsplash
4. Seek a Creative and Productive Outlet for Ambitious Energy.

We are all creative. Now I don’t mean that all of us know how to draw well, sing or play an instrument well or write well. What I mean is that we can’t avoid having a creative relationship with ourselves and the world around us. Everything we do has an effect.

But just being creative isn’t necessarily a good thing, havoc and pain can, of course, also be something we create. Pain begets anxiety, when causing pain for self and for others it always catches up. It isn’t enough to just do anything with our anxious, creative energy, it should also be productive.

Now you may be thinking that you have no clue what to do with yourself that could help. But I assure you, the amount of creative and productive ways to place the ambition of our anxious energies is limited only by the willingness to do something healthy. Every single day holds a crazy amount of opportunities to put our ambition to good use.

It can certainly be difficult to know exactly what to do when we are anxious. Sometimes we need to use that energy to take care of areas of life we have been neglecting. Other times we may need to use that energy to attack a new and challenging opportunity. And of course, there are many times where the best to do is take the night off, shut down all the electronics and actually allow our brains to relax.

Closing Thoughts.

Listen, I know anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with. For many years of my own life, I was crippled by anxiety. Through those years, I wasn’t aware that I was creating my own anxiety with the lifestyle I was stuck in.

But what I have learned through coming back to my right mind is this. Anxiety is a warning system to tell us that something needs to change and change fast. I also know that many times when anxious, our thoughts and perceptions can be dangerously misguided.

When working with the tips written above, take responsibility for what you’re feeling but don’t be too hard on yourself. Talk to other healthy people, talk to a trained professional if needed.

Now as you move forward in your life, know this, it is going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it. If you listen to the feelings of anxiety, cry the tears, and take the right actions, you will wind up in a better mind and a better life.

The ambition that fuels your anxiety, when used creatively and productively will lighten up your world and the worlds of those around you. Don’t be afraid of it, welcome it. Quit resisting, surrender to the healthy places it desires to go.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We sincerely wish you amazing success in reclaiming the energies of your ambition from anxiety. I offer you the challenge of applying what you have read here, as well as experimenting with your own healthy ways of taking back your energy from anxiety. If you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, you will greatly benefit.

 

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

 

Worrying: What is it Good for?

Right off the bat, I have a question for you. How often do you find yourself worrying? I don’t care if it is worrying about your children, family, lover, finances, or the many other items in your life and mind.

Now just one more question. Is the worry worth it?

These are two questions that I hope linger in your minds as we dive into the topic of worry. Now let’s look closer to find the possible good, bad, and purpose of worrying. As well as some ways to help smooth out this stressful process.

Things we Worry about.

The reasons that we worry seem to be endless. Though there seems to be a common theme among this endless list of worrisome subjects. The theme is that we care about them, or we believe they are going to harm what we care for. If we didn’t care about losing something if we didn’t feel something we cared about was threatened, what reason would we have to worry about it?

To care about something is to be emotionally invested. It is a very human thing to care. It is also quite human to worry about losing something that we care for. The world is an unpredictable place, full of unknowns that could potentially be dangerous. Our minds project a fantasy into that world of unknowns to up the survival chances of the things that have our care. Sometimes we predict well and ward off potential threats, and other times there is nothing we can do about it.

But let’s back up a bit here. What is worry anyway? By clicking to read this article I am guessing that you are someone who has at some point worried. Like me, you know exactly what it feels like. You know the mind begins coming up with all sorts of stories to predict the future. I’m quite sure you also have felt the relief that comes from when the thing that’s worried about turns out to be completely fine. And you have probably had your worry be true.

To understand worry a little deeper, we need to talk briefly about its relationship to fear.

Worry and Fear.

At the heart of worry, I see fear. I see a natural process that is preparing us for change. This energizes our creative process, accelerating our minds to problem solve and get our bodies to take action. In this process, our minds and bodies are fighting change as well as preparing for the new, brewing up an incredible amount of creative energy. If the fear response is allowed to go on for too long it has negative consequences for the health of our bodies and our relationships.

You have probably heard of the bodies fight, flight or freeze response. This is a physical response in the body that is brought up by fear of potential threat. The brain begins cutting off the flow of energy to bodily processes that seem unnecessary for protecting itself from attack. That energy flows to the places in the body that will better protect us from said threat.

This response is a tricky bugger to deal with. Because the thing we are fearing doesn’t even need to be real for it to kick up this process. Our brains and bodies can direct us to put out fires that don’t even exist. We can perceive threats that are not even there. And if we have a history of trauma, hidden internal damage can easily be mistaken as external threats.

The fear response is and has been extremely important for our species ability to move forward through time. And still important in relatively safe times today. Though for individuals that have made a habit out of worry, the response is left to lay waste to eat away at our bodies from the inside out. For not very good reasons at all.

When Worry Gets Dysfunctional.

It is difficult to look into the lives of others and say worry is dysfunctional for them. Maybe we can only figure out what type of worry is dysfunctional for ourselves.

Today I realize worry is getting out of hand when I am feeling unproductive stress and not doing much to solve the problem that my life faces. When my mind has been going in circles and the stress builds, I know I need to slow down and reevaluate my thinking. I need to find out if I am actively and productively problem solving or just driving myself crazy.

Finding Relief from Worry.

It is highly important to learn how to shut down worry. This is whether the fear and possible paranoia are about a real or imagined scenario. Even though each of these can feel equally real.

If we continue to feed the fear, threats that are not there are more likely to be dreamed up. And the longer we feed the fear the more easily it is to convince ourselves that we should be worrying. It is like a car that is stuck in the mud, only digging itself in deeper when attempting to free itself.

So let’s work on finding our way out of the fear of worrying to get our creative energies directed into the right places.

1. Slow down to Feel the Fear and Other Emotions Present.

The old saying is that “cooler minds prevail.” To me, this means that we can find better courses of action when we slow down our worrying fear-based minds, emotions, and actions. When we cut off the worrying we can find better solutions than we could while being directed by our fear. Studies have shown that when too much fear is present, our IQ’s actually shrink.

Where there is worry there is fear and there is also pain. Maybe it is pain from a loss that is anticipated but not real. Or maybe it’s the pain in ourselves that is connected to the loss in the past. Whether the pain comes from anticipating our loss, re-feeling a past loss or experiencing loss in the present, it’s best to feel what is there.

Once the emotion is felt, the energy that is fueling the worry just might get a chance to dissipate. Feeling these emotions isn’t always easy, there may be fear, sadness, anger, and much else to feel. This obviously isn’t going to magically fix a real fear induced situation, but it will put us in a better place to act from a more sane self. We may find that the fear we are sensing has nothing to do with the world outside ourselves.

Worry Perception2. Remind Ourselves of Times that Worry and Our Perceptions have been Wrong.

Have you ever worked yourself up into a mess of worry and had the relief that comes from having it not be true? I sure have. This reminds me of when I was younger and would get spooked by a shape in a dark room. Only to turn on the light and have the monster be a couple jackets hanging on the wall. Well, I find this can still happen pretty easily in life, whether the fear is finances, politics or what have you. Not to say that all fears about these things are unfounded, but they don’t have to seem like such immediate dangers that have no hope.

These days I get a sense of peace from telling my worrying mind that all this fear right now may be full of crap. Reality is not always as it seems. I am truly grateful to understand that my world is much safer than my mind can lead me to believe.

3. Take Productive Action.

Worry can be a sign that some action needs to be taken. Maybe it is a clear action like getting out of the way of that moving vehicle or paying the electric bill. Though maybe the needed action is not so clear. The needed action might actually be to stop taking actions because we are creating unnecessary problems.

We need to find something to do with the energy that drives worry. If all I do is worry, I am not accomplishing a damn thing. But if I use my worry as a sign that helps me make an important change, then we are getting somewhere.

4. Let Go of the Need to Control.

Learning how to let go and trust is a beautiful thing. Now I am not telling anyone to put their head in the sand, not protecting themselves and loved ones. But when we find out that we cannot do anything about the situation, we can let it go. When we find out that our worry was unfounded, we can let it go. And after we have taken the proper actions to make it through the fearful situation, we can now let that go too.

Who in their right minds desires to stress themselves out with worry when they don’t have to. There is freedom in letting go of control.

5. Let our Trusted People Help with this Entire Process.

Talking to our trusted friends when worrying can have many benefits. They may be able to help us calm down if we can’t do that by ourselves. As well as help us come to terms with what is real in what we are fearing, and what we have some control over. They can help guide us into the next right action to take. If we are not able to come to terms with what to do on our own, we need healthy and trustworthy people to help us.

Some people run absolutely everything in their lives through the minds of those around them. This doesn’t happen to be my approach. For me, I am much more comfortable doing what I can do and then enlisting the support of others when my efforts prove to not be enough. Whichever level of support you require or desire, the truth remains that healthy relationships are essential

Worry ReliefConclusion.

The question I care to answer here is in the title of this article. What is worrying good for?

I cannot say that worry is good for absolutely nothing. Because there is something important happening for us when worry arises. It is telling us that something is not right with our world with a lot of energy to solve the issue.

Worry may be telling us there something wrong with our outside world or our inside world. Which one it is isn’t always so clear but by implementing the list above, you may find your way to the answer. That worry is present is an important sign to fix a problem, correct. But finding a way out of the worry is of even greater importance.

To be worrying is to be unproductively stressing out. It is a thief of creative energies when left to its own devices. But worry does not have control over us if we can catch ourselves in it. And it is possible to find gratitude and healthy solutions even in times where it feels uncontrollably powerful. Relieving ourselves of the habit of worry is a very real thing.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

Healing Depression: Recovering our Repressed Creative Energy.

Depression is a familiar state of being for many individuals in the world. I have visited this state many times. And no doubt you are close to someone or are someone for whom depression is a danger.

The “World Health Organization estimates that more than 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression. It’s also the world’s leading cause of disability.” This is what healthline.com reports.

With my tendency leading to becoming another one of those more than 300 million people, this is how I keep myself not depressed and continuing on with living a successful life.

A View on Depression.

Psychologist Sigmund Freud referred to depression as “anger turned inward.” But what does that mean?

In My Life Experiment’s last article we described anger as an expression of our creative energy attempting to break free from resistances.

The more of our energy that doesn’t find it’s way into the world through us, the more aggressive the energy becomes. And the more aggressive we may become.

Now there are many ways to dysfunctionally attempt to express aggression. It can be taken out on others in a way that produces more shame and anger toward ourselves. Or we can just skip the middle man and take it out directly on ourselves.

Whichever way our angry energies don’t find a way out they will still begin or continue the growth of a depressive cycle.

Too Hard on Ourselves?

On many occasions, while navigating my way through a chemical addicted life, people would tell me the same thing. “Travis, you are way too hard on yourself.” And honestly, I couldn’t even comprehend what that meant.

It is as if the hyper-self-critical voice inside of my head was so convinced that life could only be an anxious mess that I couldn’t even see that I couldn’t comprehend what lightening up was.

I understand the problem for myself now though. I was stuck. Stuck in a cycle that never ended up releasing the powerful energies that grew inside.

Almost all the ways I found to help ease the inner tension, were dysfunctional and bore very little helpful fruit. Yet all the dysfunctional ways found themselves to be much easier than the healthy.

Many individuals in this world have either never found out how or have forgotten how to be healthy and happy. It is a sad thing to realize how many people are stuck on being too hard on themselves. But thankfully I know there is a way out, mainly because I have found mine.

Depression Man

Turning the Volume Down on Depression.

With a state called Depression, it would seem that there shouldn’t be all that much mental activity happening. But I for one know that in a depressed state, the mind is painfully loud. I say painfully because the messages being repeated are about all of the unfinished emotional business that has built up over the years.

Every ended relationship, passed love one, thing that wasn’t said or was said, and unmet expectation desires all of our attention. Desiring it so badly that it feels almost impossible to think of something else.

The pain and built up anger fuels the harshness of the internal voice. It desires to be heard so badly as if it is a victim of bodily torture saying anything to find a way out of its present moment.

I paint a desperate internal situation here because it certainly can be. But even though, there are certainly ways out of this seemingly hopeless situation.

But there is hope and the volume can be turned down. It may seem impossible but I believe that is depression doing the talking.

More on Depression and How to Turn the Volume Down.

Before I show you a list on how to turn the volume down on depression I first need to tell you that these are only my personal insights. Though I find them to be true and helpful, they are not a prescription from a trained professional.

Also, it is important to know that depression and sadness are nowhere near the same thing. Sadness is a normal emotion, and to me is very important to healing and moving on with our lives. And even though constant feelings of sadness are a symptom of depression, depression is it’s own beast altogether. For more on the symptoms of depression and the difference between depression and sadness check out this Healthline.com article.

Lastly, it is important to know that there are different types of depression. Some forms of depression are more situational and may be easier to find our ways out of. Others are clinical and are more persistent than situational types. Both types are serious and need immediate attention. For more information on the difference between situational and clinical depression check this article out.

Now on to our list for getting on top of depression and turning the volume down.

1. Talk to a Trained Professional.

If you are feeling deeply depressed or don’t know if you are simply feeling sad more often than usual, please get your yourself checked out.

A trained professional can help ease the pain of all that pent up energy. They may prescribe a medication, give advice about taking care of ourselves and just as important as both of those, give us a judgment-free zone to express feelings. Though even if we visit a professional we are the ones that have to put in all the hard work.

2. Follow the Doctors Orders.

So you went to see a trained professional and they gave you some ideas for taking care of yourself. I advise to do them. By visiting a professional you have already admitted there is a problem that you didn’t have an answer to. Many of us don’t want to feel controlled by the orders of a trained professional. We may think they are just trying to make money off of us or numb out our creative potential by giving us drugs. And maybe on some occasions, this may be the truth but for the most part, they create a safer atmosphere for healing than we can conjure alone.

There may also be shame and self-anger involved in not being able to fend for ourselves and needing the support of another. But just remember. Who made the visit to the professional? And who is deciding to go along with the prescribed plan? Nobody is being forced into anything here. Though I definitely gained a great deal by not fighting the suggestions that were offered to me throughout my mental health recovery.

For my recovery, I took meds when they were needed. Later on when in a very good place I decided that I wanted to see what life was like without them. I went to the Dr. and expressed my desire to wean off. They said that it was worth a shot, so we came up with a plan to come off of them safely.

Depression community3. Join a Community of Healthy Like Minded Individuals.

As a recovering addict, a huge part of the health of my being has been showing up to 12 step recovery fellowship. In this fellowship, I have found my wife, a mentor, many friends, and helpful acquaintances. These people have helped me expose my anger and have supported me as I find new ways to express my energy.

My family has also been crucially important and can also play the role of a helpful community. Though I feel I have learned how to be a healthy part of that dynamic by having a large fellowship in recovery to spread my energy through. Many individuals that suffer from depression have a painful dynamic with family. Having a larger community to be a part of can relieve the stress and pain that the family might go through as we recover.

Please find your way into a 12 step program, a church, a large group of close-knit friends and family, or all the above. Being connected to these healthy supports can help us navigate our way through depression. And our continued connection with them will help whenever the symptoms of depression rear their ugly head once again.

4. Get on the Path of Self-Discovery.

It is easy to become completely disconnected from who we are as human beings. From birth, we are told who we are and what we should believe. As life goes on the battle with self continues as we judge ourselves against the paths of others and think less of ourselves as a result. Coming back home to who we are is of the utmost importance. Although it is a path with many heavy emotions, it is also the path opening up our repressed energy to find it’s way into the world.

In my recovery, I have done this by sharing about myself in hundreds of recovery meetings and many hours of one on one work with a trusted mentor.

There are ways I have gotten more in touch with myself that don’t actually require other peoples input as well. Meditation has been a very important part of getting in touch with my body. Another immensely important part of my recovery today is what I call Therapeutic Writing. Here is a link to check out the Therapeutic Writing process I use to get in touch with what I am feeling and find out more about myself.

By discovering more about ourselves we can find out what behaviors only fuel anger, shame, and depression. Then we can finally leave these behaviors that don’t work for our spirits, behind. As well as come to understand what new behaviors would work better for us. Whatever way you end up learning about yourself, get on it immediately.

5. Stay Active with Multiple Hobbies.

As we leave our old Depression causing ways behind, we need new outlets for our energy. As human beings, we have far too much creative energy to just be wasting it. Whether that means finding new hobbies or getting in touch with hobbies we enjoyed in the past we need to be using them as an outlet. Not finding outlets for our energy will only enhance Depression.

To me, a hobby is simply an outlet for our energy. So whether you hit the gym, hang out with friends, read, underwater basket weave, or whatever get busy with them. That is unless your hobbies are harmful to yourself or others. In that case, please find some new hobbies!

6. Find Ways to Give Back.

In recovery, I have been able to get in touch with and release a great deal of that built up creative energy that was fueling depression, anxiety, and obsession. There is soo much-repressed energy that lies latent inside a depressed individual. Finding ways to use this energy for the individuals that have helped us when we couldn’t help ourselves can be extremely gratifying. It can also be very rewarding to help those who are currently unable to do much for themselves.

We can give back to a community that helps us, our family, our career or society as a whole. Helping others is an important piece of staying aware of our importance in the world. All of that energy that has been locked inside of our bodies for years may be pleased that is getting used for something meaningful.

Keep up the Fight. Whether you Battle Depression or Simply Desire to Feel Better.

Depression Strong CoffeeIt is important to understand that we need to stay grounded and in the moment to maintain our mental and emotional health. This is something that the above things on this list will help you do. But it is also very important to remember that us individuals that have become acquainted with depression, risk relapse when getting too comfortable. We must remember that recovery and maintaining a healthy, happy and content life requires a commitment to finding healthy avenues for our creative energies.

When we don’t feel so hot, we must keep moving forward. Also when we are feeling on top of the world we need to continue moving forward as well. We must never give up, vigilance is key in maintaining our own sanity.

Just navigating the world is tough enough as it is for the average human being. I believe anybody can benefit from the message and tips we have given here today.

So whether you are prone to depression or not, stay strong your life is worth fighting for.

 

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

Anger: An Unsung Emotion for Moving Forward.

Anger has a bit of a bad reputation. And many of us do not have a healthy relationship with anger but it is never too late to turn that around. We can develop a healthy relationship with the emotion and learn how to use the energy it carries in healthy ways. In ways that will free our healthy ambitions, enhance mental health, and lead us to our best lives possible.

So What is Anger?

I believe that at the very heart of anger is a being’s ambitious and creative bodily impulses seeking to find it’s way. When the energy doesn’t find it’s way into the world, it gets built up. This only generates more persistence to find liberation from the resistance against it. It means more anger to push us to get moving.

Anger is not necessarily pleasant energy to deal with. It is also not an energy that will be easily ignored. It is not just going to go away. At first, these angry thoughts and impulses may gently ask for our attention. With the asking turning to forceful demands as we neglect to respond and take action.

When we don’t take the actions we need to for too long the energy may take action into its own hands. It may create all sorts of problems internally and with our relationships.

The Battle with my Anger.

Anger Face

I would love to say that my history with anger has been rooted in nothing but a healthy expression of the emotion. But no, it has been loaded with dysfunction and pain.

I had no clue that I simply had an abundance of creative energy that had nowhere to go.

Because of my lack of awareness of the crazy amount of energy in me and the anger I developed I damaged or destroyed many relationships and opportunities for success. It wasn’t until I began my journey of recovery that I began healing relationships and learning about the source of my anger. As well as doing work to heal the past that exists inside of myself.

Today, the ways I deal with my anger has mostly entered the world of the sane. My anger only sneaks in and causes problems once in a while, and to a much lesser degree than in the past. Because over the years I have found a new way to live.

Anger

Lessening the Danger in Anger.

The danger in anger is clear. I am sure we all know someone or have been someone who has spilled this energy out in ways that cause embarrassment, humiliation, relationship loss or even jail time.

Dealing with anger irresponsibly doesn’t process the emotion. And unprocessed energy in anger leads to excess stress, anxiety, and diminished mental health

The Buddha likened holding onto anger to “holding onto hot coals.” So in order to process it, we must find healthy ways to let this sometimes painful energy find its way out of us and into the world. To me, this doesn’t mean that any form of acting on or communicating anger is harmful. But we do need to find the right ways.

In this study, individuals were asked to respond in an either aggressive or non-aggressive way to a situation. The researchers wanted to see if either way of responding would lessen the amount of anger felt in those individuals. The study found that not acting did a better job of lessening anger than trying to vent the anger aggressively.

The findings may run contrary to what our anger might tell us will work to release our tension. Anger may say I better yell at this person because they pissed me off. It might also say I need to quit this job because I don’t like the way the boss looked at me. There are an endless supply of probably dangerously silly decisions the thoughts that go along with anger can lead us to make.

Healthy Ways to Deal with Anger.

The study above may have said that not acting did a better job than acting aggressively. Though doing nothing too often, can lead us to be pushovers or to be in denial of issues we need to deal with. And acting out on anger in rash ways usually causes more problems than we started with. So what is the answer here?

We have compiled a list of healthy ways of dealing with the possibly misguided thoughts and impulses of being angry that don’t involve aggression or doing nothing. We hope they can help you process your anger and develop a better relationship with it.

1. Don’t make hasty decisions.

Far too often when I am feeling angry I think that something needs to be done right here and right now. Though more often than not, taking actions in haste when angry has created unnecessary problems.

If you are angry and the job, spouse or whatever else is the target of those possibly violent thoughts, please take some deep breathes and don’t quit. Don’t abandon the relationship just yet. Our judgment may be clouded and we need to step back to find out what is REAL! Then if you find out you actually are being taken advantage of then find a healthy way to leave or stay.

2. Chat with trusted friends.

After holding off on making quick decisions while too pissed off, allow a close friend to chat with. A trusted friend can help us calm down and may help us see the next course of action. But remember too much venting with the friend may actually not make things better so try and keep a cool head.

Keeping a cool head with your trusted people will allow them to give more sound advice. Otherwise, they may just be pressured into agreeing with angry demands.

3. Do some Therapeutic Writing.

A lot of the time when I am angry I will turn to therapeutic writing. This is a process that has helped me keep from making many silly angry decisions. I sit down with a pen, paper and calming music. I write to find my responsibility, not to simply vent my frustrations. I seek real feeling, and healing.

Sometimes simply jotting down a bunch of things I am grateful does great things for slowing my anger down.

4. Let go of Some Expectations.

The World not meeting my expectations for it can be a great source of my anger. This definitely isn’t to say that all expectations are unnecessary. Though some can be realistic and others just setting ourselves up to be pissed off. It is good to take a break from what we are doing and examine our expectations for ourselves and others when angry. Then we can let go of those expectations that are reasonable to let go of.

5. Get some Exercise.

It always amazes me what a half hour pushing it hard on the elliptical can do for my anger and stress levels. By exercising, anger gets a nice outlet, though I recommend not thinking too angry of thoughts while working out. Then it just becomes an aggressive outlet which as I said above may be less effective than doing nothing.

Here is an article of “10 Exercises to Help Reduce Anger.”

6. Meditate.

When attempting meditation in an angry state, it may take a little time for the mind to slow down. There will likely be a phase where meditating is the last we want to do. Our thoughts and energy may scream at us to get up and quit this stupid silence crap. Soon that voice and those impulses will subside and we will be returned to a more sensible state.

There have been many meditations that have completely melted away that anger I was once feeling. It is one of the most freeing feelings I have experienced.

7. Take a Nap.

Sometimes a nap may help immensely. Although naps may not be the easiest thing to have for someone that lives a busy life. Just a little nap can help me settle down the emotion I am feeling. This can give me a better perspective on what I currently see as a problem. And if the issue does need attention, I now may have a little more energy to take care of it!

8. Get a Bite to Eat.

I find it crazy to think about how many times I have gotten angry from things that seem like no real big deal then go have a bite to eat and have the aggression just melt away. Getting hangry is a real thing. So who knows maybe your not mad that an individual called you the wrong name at work, you may just be hungry!

9. Take Some Time to Stretch.

I am not talking about doing a bunch of yoga poses or anything like that! Sitting too much throughout the day builds up excess tension in the body. Tension and anger go hand in hand with one another.

Just taking a little bit of time to bend down to touch my toes and stretch my back goes a long way to help me get some relief from feeling angry. It takes no time at all but I don’t remember a time my body didn’t appreciate it.

10. Pray.

Taking some time out to thank a higher power can help lift the stress of anger. Whether you believe in god, a helpful universe, your subconscious or whatever. Stopping to ask for some assistance or to express gratitude can be a productive solution.

The Creative in Anger.

creative anger

The list above is meant to get us back into a state of mind that isn’t having us controlled by our anger. It is to get us back in control of ourselves. When we are back in control of ourselves, we are much less likely to make destructive decisions. We will be in a position to allow that energy that is coursing through our bodies to do something productive.

Anger often leads the way in my creative process. I work on something, which could be anything complex, then I get confused. Then I get frustrated and then pissed. After I use some of the healthy ways of dealing with my anger from the list above, I generally find myself feeling something and then moving on. Dealing with my anger in healthy ways has healed and enhanced relationships and brought me the success I once never thought possible.

Anger is full of creative energy. Once we can get our thoughts and impulses under the guidance of our more sane self we can use them and the energy to create responsibly.

My relationship with my anger is not always a comfortable one. But I feel life isn’t meant for staying comfortable. Life is meant for creativity and growth, and anger will help us blaze new trails that will lead to amazing opportunities.

So I ask you today. If you are scared of your anger or are misusing it in ways that are hurting yourself and others, please join me in developing a healthy relationship with anger. Your stress levels and mental health will appreciate your decision. And you just may find that the deepest parts of yourself are using it to help you find the best your life can be.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

Quit Numbing Your Ambitious Energy.

There is a great deal of ambitious energy that naturally seeks to create in the world through us.

Neglecting to use this energy brings pain, and a desire to numb out and escape this pain. Though numbing out this pain may temporarily help with the pain, it also has other undesirable consequences.

My Painful History of Numbing out Dreams.

I remember when I was in the heart of being a using addict. There was a paralyzed feeling when it came to attempting anything that may better my life. This came from years of letting myself and others down. For me, to dream was to come face to face with the reality of how hopeless I felt.

This also happened before using chemicals ever came into the picture. Though early on it wasn’t such a paralyzed feeling. There was a level of resistance that grew over time.

When I first began using I thought I found the solution. It felt magical. I found myself not caring as much about being awkward in social situations. And not caring as much about letting others down. Though as the years went on, the using escalated and my hopes and dreams began passing me by, one by one. Using was the best I could do to not go crazy from the stress of not living my ambitions

In the end, the amount of using that needed to happen to keep the stress dampened destroyed my body from the inside out. Numbing out the stress of my unlived ambition didn’t make the stress go away it only gave me more to work on once I stopped.

Ways of Numbing and Escaping Ourselves.

I have been clean and in recovery from addiction for a decade now, but still, find myself trying to escape reality on the daily. From what I see, much of society seeks to escape reality compulsively on the daily.

In the last My Life Experiment article, we touched on the importance of setting aside time for relaxation. The troublesome thing is that these same methods that may be used for relaxation, can very easily turn into methods for numbing ourselves to current unwanted emotions.

Be it social media, Netflix, daydreaming, thinking, partying, reading, shopping, self-righteousness, worry, sex, sarcasm, anger, etc, etc.. The list goes on in on. My sponsor in recovery likes to say that a person can become addicted to anything they can do more than once. I tend to agree.

Maybe not all methods of numbing and emotional escapism have as severe consequences as the way I used chemicals, but they all have undesired consequences.

The Balance Between Relaxation and Escapism.

Numbing Escapism

A big consequence of too much escapism is having life thrown off balance. When binge-watching the latest series on Netflix we are generally not doing all sorts of important things I could be taking care of. When staring at our phones too often we are likely not getting as much quality time with my relationships. So, in turn, we miss out on new opportunities to grow and experiment with life.

Whenever a tool for relaxation interferes with other healthy desires too often, escaping may be the mission, not just relaxation.

I get it though, it is important to take ourselves off the grid throughout the day. Whether that be a little daydreaming, checking the phone, or having a good laugh with a friend. I don’t believe we as human beings are supposed to be ultra-productive every moment of our lives. That idea makes me cringe a little when I think of it.

So how can we know when we are Escaping rather than relaxing? There are some questions we can ask ourselves.

  • Am I spending too much time doing this activity?
  • Are there any important decisions I am putting off?
  • Is there a fear I am experiencing?
  • Do I feel like I am avoiding conversations with others?
  • Are my nerves on particularly high alert?

If these questions prove to ring true then there is probably some numbing out to escape reality going on. So it would be a helpful idea to take care of the problem area these questions are alluding to.

Seek Feeling Not Numbing.

It seems that some of the numbing we seek is to escape the fear of the future. Others to escape painful feelings of the past.

There are a couple things the past and future have in common. First of all, they do not exist, either anymore or not yet. Second, the only time the emotions about them exist is in the present moment.

The present is also the only place we can seek to escape them, as well as the only place that we can feel them. But we cannot feel them when compulsively seeking relief from them.

We need to slow down, let go and be vulnerable. Once we are able to calm our nerves and feel what we need to feel we can get back to the moment. Then we can get our thoughts and bodies back in a healthy relationship with our ambitious energy.

We all have our histories that have grief, trauma, and many other painful emotions. Getting in touch them is the only productive thing to do with them. Running away from them is not. They always catch up eventually. Attempts to escape them are fruitless, they don’t have to hunt us down like in the movies. They are right inside of us.

Feeling Not Numbing

Finding New Ways of Living.

Feeling these emotions is not enough though. Getting in touch with our ambition is not enough either. We need to decide to use this energy in a productive way.

When I entered recovery, I had all sorts of dysfunctional ways of behaving. I would guess that you are likely in a better position than I was. But even I was able to and continue to latch onto healthy new ways of behaving.

This requires letting go of the ways we waste our time and seek too much comfort from our ambition. Then both finding new friendships, hobbies, ideas to study and skills to learn. And most importantly finding better ways to bring value to the relationships we currently have.

There is no shortage of ways to be creative in our own little worlds. So my advice is to spread the energy around to many different areas. I would tell you what you should go have fun with but only you can figure out what brings you both challenge and pleasure for yourself. Have fun, my friend!

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We sincerely wish you amazing success in developing a healthy relationship with all your ambitious energies.

 

It is our belief that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit. If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us.