Developing Connection to the Present Moment.

Developing a strong connection to the present moment is one of the most rewarding undertakings to be done.

What is it? How do we keep ourselves from it? How can we wake up and maintain a connection to the present moment? These are the questions that will be addressed throughout this article.

Connection to Present Moment
Photo by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash

Connection to the Present is Connection to Self.

Without a connection to the moment, there is no connection with ourselves. And not maintaining a connection to self is most certainly an unintended cause of self-harm. But how you may ask.

It’s easy, without a conscious connection to self, we will likely find ourselves feeling lost. Wandering through life, trying this thing and that thing, searching for something that feels “right.” Hardly ever finding that person, that experience, that thing that will create the lasting feeling of wholeness. Maybe finding that feeling momentarily, but losing it as it drifts off in the wind. It is a sad fact of life that many individuals wander their entire lives vigorously chasing lives that aren’t theirs.

This being lost is not from lack of effort though. But it is most definitely from lacking understanding of who we are and what we are connected to at our cores.

It is through having a conscious connection with the present, that the magic of life truly awakens. Likewise, this is where the magic of ourselves wakes up as well. Things begin to make sense. Our minds begin to make sense, our emotions, our desires, everything about us that is real begin to make sense. And all of those aspects that are just figments of our imaginations, get seen for what they are, unintentional self-deception.

Unintentional Self-deception.

There is much that may stand in the way of our conscious connection to the present moment. All of them being our own job to become aware of and cope with.

A critical part of establishing and maintaining our own connection to the present is claiming personal responsibility for the connections absentness. Not necessarily blame, just responsibility.

Self-awareness is key to understanding how we deceive ourselves out of a connection to the present moment. Without awareness of our ways, changing them is happenstance. We deceive ourselves with sneaky methods. Which are sneaky because we probably don’t even know how or why we are being self-deceptive. We do them behind our own backs but in front of our very eyes.

Waking up to the Disconnection.

We all deceive ourselves, that is a fact of life. What some people have learned to do, more than others is wake up to this process.

To wake up to the ways we are ensuring our disconnection to the moment requires picking up on the clues to our disconnection. When we are lacking connection, the clues are right inside of our bodies.

  • Extra anxiety is a clue.
  • Acting in ways we know we shouldn’t be is a clue.
  • Being generally dissatisfied with life is a clue.
  • Anger and its close emotional relatives are a clue.
  • Sadness and its close emotional relatives are a clue.
  • Blaming others for the way we feel is a clue.
  • Thoughts that seem sticky and more negative than usual are a clue.

When we are noticing any of these signs, our conscious connection to the beauty of the moment is compromised.

We all run into these clues at some point. Not all of us recognize them, realize what they are telling us and take responsibility for negotiating the energies they contain.

It, of course, isn’t enough just to wake up to the ways that we are holding ourselves from this beautiful connection to the present. But without first waking up, relaxing into the present and maintaining our connection is pretty much an impossibility.

Maintaining our Connection to the Present Moment.

Living a good life comes only through understanding and application of principles that will make that way of life possible.

Here we want you to understand how to wake up to present disconnection, and how to maintain a conscious connection to the brilliance of the reality right here. The one that is both inside and around us.

Noticing and Attending to the clues of our Disconnection.

Above we listed some clues to our being disconnected from the moment. We can neglect to take responsibility for these clues and stay asleep, or accept responsibility and have the chance to wake up.

If you notice them, label them for what they are, bodily impulses that are looking for attention. Impulses that if not given our attention constructively, will take us farther away from the moment the longer they are not attended to.

Nobody wants their own energies blocking their connection to the creative nature of the present. But if these impulses are blocking us, they are not doing it without reason. They need attention.

Not all bodily impulses need to the same type of attention. For some, attending to them could be simply taking prompt action to allow them to do what they are meant to do. The impulses we are dealing with may also not require any kind of outward action at all and need to be felt, processed and healed.

Now let’s look into some ways that we can attend to these impulses to ensure that we take proper care of them. As well as allow ourselves to live well in the process.

1. Get Grounded.

Waking up means that we first need to get grounded. We need to come back down to our bodies and back down to reality.

Mindful breathing is a great way to clear away excess stress so that we can settle body and mind back into the moment. It is from this place that we can find more clarity on what we should be doing next.

2. Feel What Needs to be Felt.

Once feeling grounded we will have a better grasp at what emotions are moving through us. These emotions, if not kept in awareness can keep us out of the moment. To the degree that they are painful, the more difficult it usually is to stay in the moment with them.

Feeling our emotions has the added benefit of keeping us in the moment. But resisting them will rip us out of this healing place.

3. Take Mindful Actions.

If we find that there are actions we have been neglecting to take, the impulses connected to these responsibilities will also take us out of the moment. After getting grounded and in our feelings, no matter what the flavor, we will be in the best place to take these actions.

In this state, we can take these actions mindfully, giving full attention to the current activity.

This attention we give brings high quality to the activity. Much more comforting and energizing, than if we allowed our thoughts to think about all other activities we need to do. When acting in this way, we will maintain a connection to the moment, as well as ourselves.

4. Use Mentorship to Maintain Connection.

Helping others allows us to find a connection as well. When connecting with other individuals, we find a connection to the moment and connection with ourselves.

Some people are masters at connection, while others haven’t a clue what a connection to the moment even is.

I believe we need both of these types of people in our lives. Throughout my years in recovery from addiction, I have learned a great deal from mentor types. Though I have learned just as much from being a mentor to others.

By allowing ourselves to be helped, and helping others, while letting ourselves be vulnerable we plant ourselves in the moment, in a powerful way.


Closing Thoughts on our Connection to the Present.

The present moment is all there really is. It is the only place we can think, feel, or do anything. Maintaining a close connection with it is our connection to the best the world has for us.

Sure the future may bring amazing things as well, and spending some time imagining it is healthy. But giving the vast majority of our time to loving this moment, will bring gifts beyond measure.

Pay attention to this moment, bring those thoughts down to reality, because this is where we are. The more time we plant ourselves in what is here right now, the more fruits our futures will bare.

That is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth. We sincerely wish you amazing success in learning how to wake up and maintain your personal connection to the present moment.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

Doing our Self Due-Diligence for Living our Best Lives.

The concept of doing our due-diligence is a popular idea. It speaks to doing our own research so that we can think for ourselves in any area in which we care to succeed.

Doing our due-diligence is of high importance for making the best decisions we can. Whether those decisions are able to be deeply thought about, or quick snap decisions.

If succeeding in any area of life is based on the amount of research that we do and apply, then how important is researching who we are as individuals. In this article we talk about applying our due-diligence to become experts in our own lives, looking into a way to get to know ourselves

What is Due-Diligence?

Of several definitions that I took into consideration, I have come to a personal definition based on their consensus. Due-diligence is the thorough investigation and thoughtful actions taken to understand and intelligently respond to the situations we face that affect our personal interests. Doing our due-diligence is doing our homework. It is studying up so that we can get the most out of our decisions and actions. Working to create the best possible outcomes for those we effect.

So now take the above definition. This definition can be used for essentially any area of life. Whether that is for building a career, starting a business, making family decisions, investment choices, etc. Success in our own lives is generally dependent on how much we understand the forces that affect us. It is through the understanding of these forces, that determines the type of response we can have when confronted by them. Maybe sometimes we can get lucky and find success without knowledge. But living a life based mainly on luck doesn’t sound like a recipe for success to me. Our bodily impulses need guidance based on information that is thorough and reliable.

Our relationship with all the individual areas of our lives works best while being well-informed, yes of course. But there is one relationship more important than any of these areas that we can come to know. That relationship is with ourselves. The due-diligence we do on this thing we call ourselves, sets the stage for making the best decisions possible for every area of our lives.

How we Do Our Self Due Diligence.

Saying that the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we have may seem a bit self-centered. But this statement is self-centered in the healthiest way possible. All the decisions we make are based on how well we understand our bodily impulses, beliefs, weak areas, and strong areas. To make the best decisions for ourselves and all those we influence, time spent getting to know ourselves is a time used wisely.

Where do we start when it comes to learning about ourselves more deeply? Over the years I have learned methods for gaining self-knowledge. Here are some methods to put our due-diligence to work, for getting to know what makes ourselves tick.

1. Question what We Know about Ourselves.

There is an important question to eventually ask if we truly desire to know ourselves. Who am I? This question asked sincerely and openly can lead to an amazing process of self-discovery.

To question ourselves in this manner there are some things we are admitting. We are admitting that we don’t have all the answers about ourselves. As well, we are admitting that we believe it might be possible to come to know ourselves better. When we come to this place of willingness to find ourselves, we need to latch onto it and make a firm commitment.

The act of questioning ourselves in this manner can be unsettling. Some of us believe we have all the information we need about ourselves. But how many of us actually know everything there is to know about ourselves? How many of us know all our personal beliefs, impulses, weak and strong attributes?

I have no problem saying that even the most enlightened individuals on the planet, would be lying if they said they did. We, humans, are constantly changing beings with desires, beliefs, and abilities that transform over time.

This process of coming to know ourselves more deeply is not an easy task. At times it may even temporarily leave our mental and emotional equilibrium all over the place. Though it is a process that will pay us back great dividends on the energy we invest in it. Next, we will move on to investigating what we strongly believe.

2. Investigating our Long-Held Beliefs.

We all have deeply held beliefs. The beliefs could be of a spiritual or religious nature, political nature, ethical nature or any other nature. The nature of these beliefs isn’t important here, but our relationships with these beliefs most certainly are.

Our relationships with these beliefs determine how we view ourselves, and how interact with the world around us. Sometimes we may be able to tell where these beliefs originate from, other times we may not even know we hold them until we act them out unexpectedly. That or someone else brings them to our attention.

Some beliefs are essential for maintaining a life that is both peaceful and fulfilling. Other beliefs may distort our perceptions, and cause us to seek a troubling amount of perfection for ourselves and those around us. Making it difficult or even impossible to live a life that is authentic to ourselves.

If we have held a belief for many years, we may just think it is part of who we are. Maybe that is true or maybe not, us as individuals are the only ones that can figure that out. I believe the only way to find out is to examine the belief, pick it apart, and see if it still feels right afterward.

Due-diligence studying

Process of Belief Investigation.

To investigate a belief, we first must pinpoint what our beliefs are. The easiest way I know to begin this investigation for developing self due-diligence is by writing these beliefs down. List the beliefs that you feel strongly about. Then afterward give some heartfelt effort to thinking about the origins of those beliefs. After some thought, write down if the belief still fits who you are today or if life would be better if the belief was gone.

If you don’t feel like writing, another method is to think about an argument in which you recently partook. Or think about a statement you recently heard that offended you. Ask yourself, what am I believing that caused me to be offended, or triggered me to argue? Then, if you are feeling up to it ask yourself if the belief actually matters to you, or if it is just a reaction from a long-held and hidden belief.

Commitment to a regular examination of our beliefs is a commitment to coming to terms with the depths of who we are. We examine our beliefs, keep what we can still use, and discard what we no longer connect with. Coming to terms with our beliefs is important for being our best selves, but even more important is to get in touch with our bodily impulses.

3. Forming a Better Relationship with our Bodily Impulses.

Our bodily impulses are talking to us continually. Sometimes the communications are pleasant, sometimes they are quite painful. Often times we hear of the pleasant feelings labeled as good, the painful as bad. This good and bad distinction about feelings is unnecessary and misleading.

All of our bodily impulses are neither good nor bad, they just are, and they need our attention. As we learn to regularly pay kind attention to these impulses, we can develop a healthy relationship with them.

To pay kind attention doesn’t mean we give these impulses everything they desire. That is a recipe for an immensely dysfunctional and painful existence. What it means is to listen to them. Now I realize that these impulses may not speak directly to us in a voice we can understand. But as long as we are willing to pause and feel them without judgment when they come, our bodies will understand what to do.

Due-diligence sitting

Simple Process for Relating to Bodily Impulses.

I will walk you through the simplest method I know for relating with impulses in any somewhat free moment. Although I say it is simple, oftentimes it is anything but easy.

Anytime throughout the day simply take stock of how you feel. You could even set a reminder on your phone to alert you multiple times a day to help you remember to check-in. If your mind and body are particularly stressed, take note. And if possible, sit or stand still and take a full deep breath, hold it momentarily, then exhale fully. Continue to focus on your breathing in this way until the stress subsides. While focusing on breathing the stress away, it likely will not give up without a fight. The impulses may spark all sorts of thoughts to sort through in this process. But use this exercise as a break from these thoughts. Continue to breathe through the stressed-out thoughts and they will settle down. You may even find yourself very relaxed afterward.

This exercise is great for developing a better relationship with our impulses. Mindful breathing and non-judgment of thinking naturally help us and our bodies develop a better relationship. Our bodies will do the communicating, the healing, the accepting, the understanding when we let it. Without knowing our bodies, we cannot know ourselves.

Closing Thoughts.

It is clear to me that healthy relationships with our bodies and our beliefs are necessary for knowing and being our best selves. Without a healthy relationship with our bodies, we will not understand what beliefs align well with us. And without beliefs that align well with our bodies, we will be taken down a path that is not ours to take.

To be true to ourselves we must do our self due-diligence. We must diligently work at relating to our impulses and aligning those impulses with healthy beliefs and eventual behaviors. Not for our country, our employers, our parents, but for ourselves. Because when we are true to our sane selves, others around us reap more rewards than when we are not.

That is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth. We wish you growth in your process of learning to do your self due-diligence!

The Balanced Approach for Making Plans.

Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.

Quote originally by: Allen Saunders but popularized by John Lennon.

Life is always happening. It is happening in the present and will also be happening in a future present. Finding a way to stay present while still being prepared when that future present arrives can be difficult. But finding that balanced approach to planning is also important.

Plans Book

Why are Plans for the Future Needed?

I spent much of my life not expecting to live very long and I acted as such. I squandered resources, burned bridges, and developed a complete lack of healthy imagination. What I found through the process of irresponsibility is how important planning for the future is.

The amount of opportunity I missed out on is staggering as I continue to understand the ramifications of not being present for life all those years. Today even though I am a responsible and productive human being, there are still opportunities for success that I’m simply not present for. Or never dreamt up because I wasn’t aware of their possibility. Nothing like the way things used to be, but there is always room for improvement.

Having plans in place for our future lives is critically important. We may continue living for quite a long time. And to maintain a healthy and success filled life for as long as we are around we will need to make plans for the changes life brings.  Healthy and effective planning for our futures can help us see difficulties on our paths. It can also allow us to see where we should place our efforts to build the type of lives we desire to experience.

When future moments for success arrive we will want to be ready for them, or we will miss out. Maybe our lack of imagination and foresight will have us blind to what we are missing. Or maybe it will be clearly screaming in our faces, waiting to beat us down with regret for many years. Who wants to be blind to what is coming or loaded with regret over missing out?

It is a shame to waste the ambitious energy us human beings have at our cores. We need healthy plans to lead a healthy life. Being in the moment with no plans may feel good from time to time, but to me is not enough.

Staying Focused Solely on the Moment is Not the Best of Plans.

Living life in the moment is of course critically important to maintaining our own sanity and be successful. But a life lived solely in the moment without regard for the future will leave us ill-prepared to capitalize on future opportunities when they arrive.

The inner driving force of a human being is tremendous. And I don’t believe that driving force is meant to be solely for the present. If it was then why in the hell do we have the ability to imagine what we cannot already touch or see? Our brains developed the ability to do this for a productive reason. Whether it developed it for security purposes to bypass danger or whatever. It can just as easily be used to plan our ways into success beyond keeping our interests safe.

Of course, we need to stay grounded when making plans for the future. We need to be mindful of the inner workings of the present moment. Awake to the opportunities that are around us. When awake to the opportunities around us we are in a better place to see the opportunities that are off on the horizon.

Balanced Plans

Finding a Balanced Approach to Making Plans.

Having our future selves set up for success when the moment arrives is an absolute blessing. It helps me with being grateful for the baton being handed over smoothly from a past me that doesn’t exist anymore.

The type of plans I find best to make are those that are grounded in reality. But how do we go about doing this?

1. Staying Rooted in the Present Moment While Planning for the Future.

I find the opposite of rooted in the present moment is being lost in our minds. Lost in the process of thinking and imagining. Being lost in this process is a complete waste of energy. Though I suppose maybe we might obsess our ways into something productive. But there is much more evidence in my life that it will take me where I don’t desire to go. And fill me with fear and a body full of unproductive stress.

The way I stay rooted in my planning is to bounce ideas off of the healthy people I trust most. I also make sure that I meditate. Giving my brain the freedom to process the information I need to, without my interruption. After I do some talking and meditating, then I will do some planning.

But don’t get me wrong, I am going to obsess and find myself floating away from the moment. This is to be expected. The trick is to not judge ourselves too harshly, then get ourselves back into the moment ASAP.

2. Set Intentions for Future Success.

To attract the types of life we desire, we also need to have a little bit of a grasp on what we desire. Then we need to set the intentions that might open our minds to their possibilities. It is only at this point that we can set our plans and our lives to go in that direction.

Our healthy ambitions are important for having lives that we enjoy. All of the energy brewing up in a human being needs direction. Set the intention, do a little planning and allow that energy to create the path.

3. Make Flexible Plans.

Being flexible is one of the most important principles to healthy life experimentation. Just because we make plans that doesn’t mean that these plans are going to work. When they don’t work we might need to go with the flow and make small revisions to the plan as we feel our way through.

Having plans that are too rigid may end up causing unnecessary pain and frustration for ourselves and those around us. I agree that once in awhile opportunities might require us to bulldoze our way into them. But for the most part there are many ways to achieve a goal and be flexible. In the moment re-planning will work out even better than forcing results.

4. Trusting our Ability to Evolve.

We need to be able to practice self-trust. As well, put some trust in the world around us. Us human beings are resourceful creatures. We may desire something and not see the way to plan for it. That certainly doesn’t mean that it is not ours to desire. It also doesn’t mean that we won’t get it.

Our desires take us places, whether we know they do or not. They work in the background of our consciousness. I don’t know how many times in my recovery I have been struck with gratitude when I realized that unbeknownst to me, my life was guided exactly where It needed to be. Though while on the path to get there, I had no clue that is where I was going.

Life is much easier when I remind myself of my uncanny ability to adapt to my surroundings.

5. Keeping our Minds from projecting Emotion Onto the Future.

When planning for the future it can be easy to slip into many emotions. When anticipating what we will need to face we can feel, fear, humiliation, anger, gratitude, happiness or any other emotion. These emotions are important in the planning process. They help prepare us for what is to come.

Though it is also important to remember that we need to be careful with these emotions. Remembering that we cannot imagine exactly what will be on the path. We can shut ourselves down to a path just because we perceive things to be too difficult. All the while as we keep our minds in the present, our ability to evolve to meet the needs of the moment made life much easier than we could have ever imagined.

Closing Thoughts.

There is a balance to be found between staying in the moment and planning for the future. The more we find that sweet spot, I believe the more balanced and healthy we become.

The quote to begin the article can be interpreted in a couple different ways. First, it might be telling us to quit planning so much because life is passing us by. It also might be saying that while we are planning we end up with meaningful lives as life goes on and we have been meeting our goals.

My take is both. Balanced is best.

Well, that is all we have for today, and thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

How to Stop Wasting Time.

I’m realizing more clearly every day that possibly the biggest crime we commit is in wasting our precious time.

You do it, I do it, we all do it to some degree.

One Persons Wasting Might be Another’s Calling.

Don’t worry, I am not here to shove a bunch of causes down your throat that I feel is worth everyone’s time. Everybody is different so we all have to define what activities are a waste of time for ourselves.

I can see something as a complete waste of time, and another person will find a level of joy in it that I may never know.

Though I will say that if you find yourself lost in a blah world where hardly anything makes sense, then no doubt a lot of time is wasting away..

How can we tell if something is a waste of time or a calling? Well, there is a saying from the Philosopher Alan Watts that rings through my mind often.

“Do you dig it?”

If I am not digging it then I am probably in the wrong place, or the wrong headspace! And if the thing is dug, then we may be on the right track.

Life is too Short to be Waste Time.

Our time here in these bodies on this Earth is minuscule. We are basically here for a flash of a moment. To be off in our heads worrying and chasing down people, places, and things that will leave us feeling empty is just stupid.

Often times when I am chasing what I don’t dig, I get an empty feeling. And when I am feeling empty, I know things need to change. The feeling tells me I need to find some things that I legitimately dig!

Life is too short for too many things we don’t dig. I am so grateful that I have woken up to this realization.

Learning is not a Waste.

One of my greatest joys is learning about myself. I am grateful to be blessed with this desire.

Though throughout many years I was astray from this calling, and much time was wasted. But thankfully I was able to make it out of the painful world of active addiction, and back into the real world.

Now I can be full of anger and regret about wasted time, or I can learn from it. Lessons learned to ensure the past was not a waste!

But any lesson I have learned about the past that I continue to disregard, I am now wasting my damn time. And I am likely wasting the time of everybody around me.

Wasting the most Precious of Times.

Now I consider it a crime to waste my own time. Though I feel it would be an even greater crime to waste the time of those around me. Who really comes to mind when I say this is my 3-month-old daughter Ada!

In my wife’s post a couple weeks ago, she spoke of learning how to stay in the moment from our infant girl. This reminded me of how easy it can be to become completely distracted by the beautiful features of life. It reminded me how much I fail to stay focused on what is right in front of my face as well.

But today I am now fueled with a commitment to waste as little time as possible for myself and others. This also means a commitment to developing a better relationship with the moment, the only time that exists.

It’s Never too Late to Quit Wasting Time.

All that we have is right now, the present moment, and it is never too late to quit wasting it. Sometimes it may take jumping off a cliff moment, where some long-held relationships need to be left behind. Other times it is as simple as just focusing closer on the present moment and appreciating what is right in front of us.

That’s right, just because I feel like I am wasting my time doesn’t mean that I am in the wrong physical space. It could be that I am wishing for something that isn’t meant to be, or has not yet come to be.

It is amazing what some relaxed breathing and focusing on what I am grateful for can do for me. Just 15 minutes can take me from feeling completely lost to being planted firmly back into my calling and the present moment. There are all sorts of things to be digging in this present moment right here and right now! I invite you to slow down and feel how much they mean to you.

And as I said above, if you are just learning this lesson, latch onto it and quit wasting your time. It is a big lesson and one that may have to be learned over and over again. If you are anything like me, it may take multiple reminders a day..

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here















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Hello, we are Travis and Casey Hagen the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds to find healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. There is plenty for us to share with you about finding better ways to live. So please follow us on our journey as we share what we know, and continue to share as we invitably learn more.

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Surrendering Obsessive Thoughts.

Hey everybody, today I am going to touch on something we have all had from time to time. That is the problems with our thoughts!

It seems, that the earliest evidence for meditation goes back to around 2980 B.C

This means that for roughly 5000 years, people have been looking for ways to slow down their thinking. As well as get in touch with their bodily impulses in the moment.

Now I imagine that human beings have been looking for ways to slow down much earlier in history. But we will just leave that as speculation.

That tells me that for at least that long, thinking has been a tricky subject for the average human.

Now with my history of mental illness and addiction, I understand the torturous nature of thinking, very well.

Why has Meditation Been Sought?

Meditation was not born just for those whose thoughts are susceptible to insanity. It is a tool that is helpful to human beings of all brain types.

I realize that meditation is a word that can turn some folks off. It is not meditation that we are really focusing on in this article, but for what meditation does that have helped people find mental and emotional respite in the act for so long.

For me, what it does is simply calm my brain down. In this article, it says that “there is a decrease in beta waves which is a sign that the brain cortex is not processing the information as much as usual.”

I don’t know about for you but the processing of information can be a painful routine to be in. Especially the times where it seems like the process has gotten out of control.

Habitual Thought Turning into Obsession.

Thinking becomes such a habitual thing, so much so that quite often we may not even realize we are doing it. These thoughts if rooted in fear and allowed to fester may take us on a ride that we may not like.

Most of us have no problem being taken on a ride of thoughts that are laced with happy feelings. That can be pure bliss. Though when the thoughts are laced with worry, shame, guilt, anger, or regret, that can be a pretty horrible ride. And I am not sure who in their right minds would enjoy going down that path.

The problem comes when we get caught on this ride and don’t realize we are on it. In the recovery community that saved my life, we call this OBSESSION.

Obsession is THE LIE, that causes tremendous problems for those who fall susceptible to it. Getting caught in obsessive thinking can take people into terribly painful life choices. Depending on the depth of obsession an individual falls into, the more difficult it may be to get back on the right track. The process to get back may be simple, but not necessarily easy.

Thoughts can be Placed Back on Track.

By back on track, I mean that we can take a little control over them. And by this I mean we can slow them down, so they aren’t as much of the speeding train they may feel like sometimes.

It may seem that it is impossible to get obsessive thoughts back on track. We may even end up feeling like victims to them. But it doesn’t serve anybody well to claim victimhood over these thoughts, or the emotional turmoil that drives them.

You may be wondering how obsessive thoughts can be placed back on track. How can we go from a sometimes violent, obsessive, internal temper tantrum, back to stable mental and emotional states?

These steps can get our thoughts back on the right track.
  • First, we have to catch ourselves obsessing on a thought.
  • Second, we need to let ourselves know that we no longer want to stress ourselves out with this thought pattern.
  • Third, we have to actively make an effort to slow down our thoughts and surrender to the moment.

Catch ourselves obsessing on a thought.

For me, thoughts tend to get of control when energy boils up to take care of my desires, and that energy does not get used up.

As an example. When procrastinating getting the taxes done or any other deadline, the approaching deadlines continue to excite the thought. Being either unwilling to take care of it, or not understanding how the unused energy continues to create more stress. Since the energy wasn’t used, it stays inside, possibly sending our brains for a loop.

Another problem is that we can end up defending our obsessive thoughts. Maybe believing that we need to be freaking out, or maybe blame someone else for the way we feel. These can both be dangerous defense mechanisms for obsession, so watch out!

But the good news is that if you realize you are stuck this crappy obsessive process, then at least you aren’t completely enveloped in it. This means that there is room to take control and get out of it!

Let ourselves know that we no longer want to stress ourselves out with the thought pattern.

Feel like crap because your brain is spinning of control? Willing to admit that you have some say in stopping the thought from terrorizing you?

Great! Now I am here to say that you are completely capable of working yourself through it.

I know that it is painful and probably overwhelming. And there may be disappointment, letting go, and grieving to be done. But there is a light out of this stressful thought process.

There is something to the power of positive thinking, a sort of acting as if I have the power to change something. Even if we don’t necessarily believe we can. I welcome you to believe that you can quit stressing yourself out with your thoughts.

If we want out, we need to admit it to at least ourselves. And even better if admitted to another person that can and will help stop the obsessive thinking.

It is only when we admit we want out and a better way to think, will another pathway begin presenting itself!

Surrender slow down

Actively make an effort to surrender our obsessive thoughts.

To me, the main message I can give is that there are all sorts of times all throughout the day when we can breathe a little bit and take our minds off of our routines and problems. We don’t necessarily need to set aside 20 minutes to meditate, although that would be extremely helpful.

Deciding not to think for a little bit and allowing the energy inside of us to settle is an act of surrender. Some may feel a surrender is an act of weakness, but this is the misleading nature of obsession, fighting to keep itself alive.

Through surrendering my thoughts to the moment we can get our thoughts back into the moment.

Even if driving in a car all day long we can turn off the radio, and do some relaxed breathing. If by some craziness there is not one single moment in the day to sit down, we can still watch our breathing and be mindful while taking care of daily business.

Don’t believe the lie that says surrendering to the moment just isn’t possible. It is good to believe the fear when actual danger is present. But for the majority of people reading this, most moments are not that dangerous.

So if you are caught in obsession or just thinking too many fearful thoughts, I welcome you to breathe and just slow down a bit. If you are obsessing, the thoughts will not slow immediately. It may take up to 20 minutes for the fight or flight storm to pass. But once it has, you will be happy that you surrendered and gave the storm a chance to move on!

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here



Coming Back to Enjoy the Moment

It has been a while since I have written anything. I thought about it often, but I have let procrastination get the better half of the situation. Now it is time to get back into the present moment.

So, I’ll just dive right in!

Before going back to work I was really struggling with staying in the present moment and maybe dealing with Postpartum Depression. My mood and the way I was reacting to the world was being affected and I didn’t even realize it.

I would be sitting there holding my daughter in my arms, but instead of being present with her, my mind was off worrying about everything that I could think of.

It finally dawned on me that the only moment that Ada is living in is the here and now. She doesn’t have things to worry about or feel anxiety over, and there are no distractions or clutter that fills her head.

In the moment was where she was, and in the future is where I was.

Ada in the Moment

There were all these things that I was thinking about which were completely irrelevant at the time. Nothing could be done about any of it, yet there I sat worrying about it all.

I was feeling scared to go back to work, nervous about daycare, sad to leave Ada, and probably worrying about something ten years from now as well.

My mind was spiraling out of control, well all the while my beautiful girl sat there looking at me with such a happy face.

After gaining this realization for what was going on, I decided that from this very moment I could either take action or I could live in the fear and anxiety that I was creating.

I realize that I essentially have been worrying way too much about things that I cannot control. To try and control these things keeps me so far from the moment. And I realize that trying to take control of these things I am powerless over, becomes a large source of anxiety. 

So, I came up with some practical things I can do to help me regain my sense of the present moment.

Take a deep breath

A nice and simple step but also one that is often overlooked. Breathing and focusing on the sensations my body is having keeps me firmly planted in the moment.

Ask myself a few questions. where are you, what are you doing, what moment are you in?

I have found this to be extremely helpful. By answering each one of these questions, I become fully aware of the current moment. Sometimes I have to repeat these questions several times until I am able to pull my mind back to the present moment.

Decide what feels better, the here and now or the future.

The answer to this question for me is always the same. That being THE HERE AND NOW. Thinking about what is going on right here and right now always seems to help put things into perspective for me.

Be grateful for what currently is and feel love, not anxiety, for what is to come.

Gratitude is such a huge thing for me. When I feel gratitude for what is currently happening, I am living outside of fear and anxiety. The same goes for when I am putting love into the things that are coming. This creates a completely different mind frame, which allows me to let go and enjoy the here and now.

I have a lot of practicing to do before these things become routine in my life, but it’s the little steps that will get me there.

Mother Teresa in the Moment

In addition, this quote seems to be quite fitting for what I have written. There really is nothing more that I need than the present moment. I have a lot to learn from my daughter, and she has a lot to teach me. I never would have thought that I would be getting a “stay in the moment” lesson from her at such a young age.

She has reminded me that there is no better time than right now, and right now is perfect!

These “stay in the moment” lessons are all around us if we are able to stay awake enough to see them. I hope you are able to notice some of these today!

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here