5 Essential Ideas for Letting Things Go.

Letting go is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes it’s the most painful thing we have to do, that is also necessary.

But what is it to let go, and how can we make this process easier on ourselves. Well, that is exactly what we are going to look into this article.

Letting Things Go?

To need to let go, obviously implies that we are holding onto something. There is an aspect of life, whether real or in our minds that we are trying to keep alive, and it is causing difficulty. If it wasn’t causing difficulty, then why give it up?

I find that letting go, is an action as well as a feeling. When holding onto something that isn’t right, it doesn’t feel good. Stress builds up, as well as mental-emotional disorientation.

But when we can finally shake loose from the experience, there is finally the possibility to find the feeling of freedom.

Letting go is something that only we can do for ourselves. Only by releasing our personal emotional attachment, can we free the energy our impulses have been pumping into it.

The things the Might Need to be Let go.

Us human beings are creatures that are very similar to one another. Though we may not be similar in the aspects of life which we need to let go. But rest assured, there are many things that each of us would do well to release. Some of those may be releasing themselves for our grasp as we speak.

To adapt and grow in this world, we need to find a connection. That could be a connection to others, to ourselves, to belief systems, to hobbies, to animals, to whatever. When we find a connection it provides stability, it allows us to find a place in this world we live in.

Maybe for a while these aspects of life we have found connection with, work well for us. But oftentimes their usefulness or presence fades, and we are forced to make a decision. To let them be in our lives, or let them go. Allowing ourselves to move on with our lives or deal with the consequences of holding onto what is now a fantasy, for too long.

What is needed to be released might be certain worrisome thoughts, certain opportunities, certain relationships, certain expectations, certain past times, certain areas that provided us with the feeling of sanity and protection amongst many other things.

It can be extremely difficult to let things go, but we can make it easier by having ways to work through this process.

Ways to Work Through the Process of Letting Things Go.

Life continues to move on, whether we like it or not. There is much to lose over the span of a lifetime. But holding onto what doesn’t work anymore, holds ourselves back from the beauty of this fluidly moving world.

The first step we need to take in letting things go is to stop engaging the thing that we must lose or have already lost.

1. Stop Engaging what Needs to go.

To stop engaging the things we are letting of means letting go on multiple levels. On the levels of physical interaction, mental interaction, and emotional interaction.

To physically stop involving ourselves with a person, a place, a thing, or an activity is, of course, an incredibly important step. By continuing to physically engage what needs to go, emotions that need processing, continue to be revved up.

Though when discontinuing contact, our mental-emotional worlds will still certainly need attention. Even if we can keep ourselves away physically, our thoughts, memories, and emotions will continue to remind us of what we think we are missing.

The more we allow these thoughts and emotions to pass, the more these impulses can begin interacting with new areas to grow. Instead of once again getting hooked into the strong “need” to reacquaint with the old.

2. Letting Go of Hope.

When focused on aspects of life that are good for us, hope is a tremendously beautiful, visionary, and important state of mind. It gives us reasons to keep working, even though we can’t yet see the results

But when hope is linked in with unworkable scenarios, the beauty of hope mutates into a potentially dark and delusional state.

Grieving is an essential piece of letting go. Especially if what we are having to send off into the sunset is deeply important to us. For grief to do its important work, we must give up hope for what getting back what is lost. But must also develop hope that our situation will once again get better.

Letting Things Go
Photo by Matt Lamers on Unsplash
3. Find New Areas to Place our Energies.

There is a great deal of energy left over when leaving unworkable situations behind. The more attached and committed we were to the relationship, the more energy that will be begging to be used.

This energy needs new homes, new things to do. Maybe that is getting back in touch with relationships and hobbies that have always been around. It also might be about embarking on entirely new journeys, with new hobbies and relationships.

It may be very difficult to want to do new things with energy that used to be dedicated to someone or something else. All of that energy could easily turn into a depressive state.

Whether it is easy for you to move on from what is being lost or not, staying active with healthy activities and people we help the process of letting things go, immensely.

4. Stay Focused on the Beauty of the Present.

When letting things go, it can be easy to get caught in regret and resentment. And why wouldn’t that be the case?

Time, energy, and effort were all given, and for some reason, in the end, it all didn’t work out. Don’t get me wrong, letting things go can flat out suck.

But even when going through the emotions of letting go, the world around us is full of life, beauty, and great possibilities. In times where I am needing to move on, I often remind myself that this present moment is perfect as it is. This reminder can help me realize that just because I am hurting, there is good all around me.

Giving some effort to being grateful for the present moment, life, relationships, health and anything else I can think of, is a worthwhile effort.

5. Look at the Loss with a Growth Mentality.

When having to let go, it can be easy to feel like time as entirely been wasted. Perhaps from time to time, we wind up spending too much time in a go-nowhere situation. But I assure you that the efforts can and at all costs should be learned from.

A long-time friend often says that we need to have the experience, learn the lesson, gain the wisdom, and do the next thing that is right for our own lives.

It is pointless in getting locked into anger, self-pity, regret, and resentment for what didn’t work. Every situation in our lives, whether it worked out or not, will teach us valuable lessons, if we remain teachable.

It is important to learn these lessons so that we don’t have to repeat them. Then we can better use our energy in the future, making new mistakes, and stumbling our way into success.

Getting on with Life.

Whether you are having trouble letting go of something, someone, some experience, or not, getting on with life is a good motto.

If you are having trouble, I feel you. In the worst cases like coping with death and long term relationship breakups, it can feel like life is all ending. There is always more to our stories though.

Pain in the short term will be alleviated by taking care of ourselves over the long-term. Life is short, so spending as little time as possible letting go is ideal. Just because life moves on, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. In fact, I think that gives all the more reason to enjoy it! Don’t you?

Letting Things Go
Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash
That is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We sincerely wish you amazing success in letting go of people, places and experiences that no longer work for you. I offer you the challenge of applying what you have read here, as well as experimenting with your own healthy ways for letting things go.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

Managing Feelings of Rejection.

Any individual that is making an effort at building a life worth fighting for is going to have to face rejection.

We are going to have our efforts pushed back in our faces from time to time. Maybe in ways that are meant to hurt, possibly in gentle ways. The rejection could just be from simple misunderstandings.

Lets look a little closer at rejection and see if we can discover some ideas for how the feeling begins. As well as find some helpful solutions for moving through it as smoothly as possible.

Any Relationship Offers up a Good Deal of Rejection.

Whether the relationship is with family, lovers, children, co-workers or whatever form the relationship has, the feelings of rejection are going to happen. There is no way around it.

Life is always changing and that is the nature of relationships as well. Everybody has their own worlds of creative energy coming to the surface. The truth is that we won’t always have the same ideas in mind on how to move forward in our relationships.

Sometimes rejection is flat out rejection. Simply put, not everyone in this world wants our time, our thoughts, or our presence. We offer ourselves up, and individuals say “get out of here with that!” Other times the rejection may not be so simple.

Relationships are such a difficult thing to manage, they are complex. They require negotiation, compromise, hard work, and continuous communication. We agree on terms for the relationship, then the terms change.

Growth is needed to keep relationships alive. Boredom happens, making it necessary to leave some of the old behind. We may end up expressing ourselves in different ways, forcing others into the position to respond.

They may play along or they may decide not to play along. Not playing along can be a retreat to the old by the rejected, or a refusal to move into the new by the rejecter. Too much rejection and not enough growth can be the death of a relationship. In any relationship we are a part of this is the case.

Another time that rejection may occur in a relationship is when the other person or we are just not in the mood. In this case, even every day expected actions may not be acceptable. Most everything may be annoying and all others may need is the look on our faces to feel rejected.

A close friend told me that it’s okay for one person in a relationship to be in too sensitive state for a little bit, but not both. Probably because there ends up being too many rejections for a relationship to handle in a healthy way.

Rejection man

The Feelings of Rejection.

What it really comes down to is that anytime we introduce ourselves, speak our minds, offer or request support, give a gift or give a damn, there is the possibility of being rejected. So beware and remember that certain emotions may follow.

Powerful feelings may be triggered when we feel rejected. They can range from deep agony and loneliness to all-out blind rage. The feelings could also be as subtle as a little irritation, to really no problematic feeling at all. Some of these emotions can bring great pain. Especially if there was a great emotional investment in and great expectations for the relationship.

When we offer up our needs, desires, and assistance we are putting ourselves out on a limb of sorts. These efforts are an investment toward a way of life that we may want. As well as a bit of a lifeline at times to see that we aren’t alone in this world. It can suck to have our efforts rejected since other people are so important for our successful personal development and often times our survival.

The pain from rejection is very real. In this Psychology today article it talks about how feelings of rejection piggyback on physical pain pathways in the brain. Another hint at this is that pain relievers like Tylenol have actually been shown to dull the pain of rejection.

The feelings of rejection don’t seem to be just in our heads. They stem from somewhere. It’s very possible that a strong rejection I feel today could stem from a situation that happened in the past. It could have taken place many years ago and here I am feeling as if it is all has to do with this very moment. Or it could be that we just had a proverbial knife stabbed into our backs, or maybe right in our faces.

Risk personThe Importance of Risking Rejection.

In any relationship, in order for it to grow and ourselves to grow in it, we must risk rejection. We must confront issues that arise and offer new ideas and new efforts to continue adapting to the changing world.

If there are too many problems in a relationship eating up our conscious or unconscious energy we are missing out on further adaptation. The energy that would be better-used tackling issues heads on tends to fester into anger, worry, resentment. The relationship risks rotting from the inside out.

Problems in relationships need swift action to remedy them. But when confronting problems in a relationship there is always a risk of rejection. It is almost as if we need to be willing to risk losing the relationship at times when confronting tough issues. But I have found that it is the avoidance of the issues, that is even more damaging.

I have lost many relationships and great opportunities throughout my life because I was not willing and possibly not able to deal with rejection. I am truly grateful that over the years I have learned a great deal about this process.

Dealing With The Feelings of Rejection and Finding Healthy Ways to Risk.

1. Know What We are Risking Ahead of Time.

Taking risks in relationships is critical to their growth and personal growth. But we should try to understand the risks we are taking before we take them. This can help curb undesired consequences and maybe save some pain.

Of course, rejection can be felt any time new little risks are taken that we don’t even think about. If someone doesn’t laugh at a silly joke of mine I sometimes feel rejected. Though life wouldn’t be much fun if I constantly measured my risk of rejection before every time I opened my mouth.

What I am talking about here is not constant monitoring, but just having some awareness of the big moves that are coming up in life. Thinking about them in a healthy way and preparing accordingly. It is also important to have an awareness of when the fear of rejection comes up.

2. Understand the Level of Risk Aversion and Test for Balance.

Some people are completely cool with taking crazy risk after risk. Others like myself need to come out of the shell to balance out high-risk aversion. Some people may risk too much, and others are way too uptight.

If you are on the too risky side and are troubled with feeling a lot of rejection, maybe slow down a bit. And if you are too risk-averse, finding yourself feeling stuck in life, jump out there and get your feelings hurt a little bit. It’s going to be alright. It is entirely possible for people with both tendencies to find a balance.

Some individuals recommend going out and actively seeking opportunities for rejection to help squelch the fear of rejection. This is not something I have actively tried. But over the decade I have spent in recovery from addiction I understand the need to take risks and prove our fears of rejection wrong.

3. Have Healthy People Around Often.

Without healthy people around to talk to we are essentially swimming around in an ocean of uncertainty all alone. It is more difficult to see our personal strengths and weaknesses. They can help us see the pieces of our reality that we currently may be blinded from.

Having healthy people around to bounce ideas and emotions off of has many benefits. They can keep us in finding solutions instead of allowing us to complain. As well as build us up and remind us of how capable we are when we are doubting ourselves. And they may be able to point out when we are in way over our heads and don’t see it.

4. Timing is very Important.

Not every time we want to make a change in our lives and in our relationships is the right time. Sometimes striking when emotion is high is the answer. Other times waiting for the emotion to cool down can keep us from overwhelming those we wish to grow with. Acting too fast or too slow may snuff out the fire of a new opportunity.

I like to take time out to meditate, talk to my trusted people and then meditate some more. Then I generally find that balance I am looking for. But don’t get me wrong, sometimes decisions need to be made quickly and that’s why it’s important that my thoughts and emotions are in a good place as often as possible.

5. Keeping Our Thoughts and Emotions in Check.

Life is unpredictable and without keeping ourselves in healthy mental and emotional states we can get tossed around like ragdolls. The feelings of rejection are much easier to handle if we are in stable mood states. We will not be able to predict all of the times that people will not be emotionally, mentally or physically available to us. Nor can we predict when someone will decide to maliciously attack our characters.

Of course, even if we are mentally and emotionally stable, rejection can hurt. But maybe we can stop that hurt in its place, then feel the rejection responsibly. Allowing us to keep the rejection from hurting us more, or winding up hurting others.

Closing Thoughts.

So yes, rejection is unavoidable. But this is no reason to avoid living our lives. Life goes on after rejection, coming with many more opportunities for interpersonal connection and personal growth. Step up and take some of those upcoming risks everything is going to be okay.

I wish you well on your path of navigating the feelings of rejection. This article was written out of what was learned from personal struggle and growth. We truly believe that if you take what was written here that it will benefit you greatly.

 

 

 

 

 

Making Changes Before Great Emotional Pain

In my last post on My Life Experiment, I talked about Staying out of Default Mode Living. Today we are going to talk about emotional pain, which I feel is generally the reason we hold ourselves back from living the fullness of our lives.

After I put that article out, I got the answer to a question I didn’t even realize I was asking.

Why do individuals (including myself) continually go back into living On Default, and neglect to create more positive experiences for themselves?

That was the Question. The answer that came is that LIFE HURTS.

The Truth About Life And Emotional Pain.

The unfortunate truth about life is whether we show up and attempt new things or not, there will be emotional pain. That and LIFE doesn’t really give a damn if we are experiencing pain or not. It will not slow down and wait for us to catch up. If we don’t change, the pain will only intensify.

In the recovery community, I am a part of, there is a saying about pain and change.

It goes “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Well, actually I just stole Tony Robbin’s paraphrasing of the statement. But it captures the essence of an issue all beings face.

Over my last 9 years in recovery, I have experienced a great deal of success! But there have been many occasions where I have had to experience great stress and worry before making a new change.

Don’t get me wrong I am not a using addict anymore and that type of pain was pure torture style suffering. Even though I do suffer at times these days, the type of suffering pales in comparison to what it once was.

The emotional pain is still pain though and says something needs to happen. It is my bodies way of signaling that I need to make a move.

Stress and Pain as a Sign for a Problem.

When my hand touches a hot stove top, the pain receptors in my brain tell me that I need to move my damn hand. The same goes for when I am caught in a situation where I need to make a decision to move into a new direction! When I procrastinate on changing, stress builds.

Stress is pain. It is the equivalent to the burning sensation from the stove. Throughout a great deal of my life, unfortunately, I have been a glutton for punishment, unable to “take my hand off of the hot stove.” Even though my flesh was searing.

For many years I came to believe that the intense stress I felt, was just the way I was. So I accepted it, and then tried to numb it out with chemicals, living inside a fantasy in my own head, and many other fruitless activities.

But then the stress was even greater than my ability to numb it out. At 26 years old, my Liver, my Pancreas, my Kidneys, my Nervous System were all ready to give up on me.

For me, there was nowhere else to go. I had a dilemma.

  1. Keep using, and probably kill myself.
  2. Quit using and enter into a world that freaked me out almost as much as the idea of death did.

I took the latter option and entered recovery.

This is only my bottom and it was extreme. I realize that most people (whether an addict or not) do not have to go to this extreme to change. And I am immensely grateful that I no longer do either!

Change Before Great Emotional Pain.

We do not have to wait until the pain of staying the same is more painful than that of changing.

Great amounts of pain DO NOT need to build for us to enact substantial changes in our own lives.

Like I said above. “Our bodies tell us when something needs to change.” For all those years, I had no intellectual clue that stress meant I needed to make a change. Thankfully I know this now.

I would say that these days I deal with the kind of stress that your average human being does. I feel it coming, usually procrastinate some, and generally take care of things before things get too crazy inside of my head. And before the stress builds to the “pulling my hair out stage.”

I am an individual that is susceptible to high anxiety fairly easily. This means that the level of self-care I need to have in my life needs to be on point.

That or my stress reaches a point where I find myself wondering if I need to be on anxiety medication once again. There is nothing wrong with medication, but I try to look through all my other self-care options before I move in the medication direction.

self care for pain

The options that I look to reduce my stress and pain are as follows:

  1. Take time to listen to my body.
  2. Make Decisions promptly when they come up.
  3. Find some relaxation.
  4. Meditate.
  5. Talk to others.
  6. Maintain a Therapeutic Writing process.
  7. Stay physically active.
  8. Have some fun.
  9. Put the phone down for a while and breathe.
  10. Maintain a Healthy Diet.

A Life With Manageable Stress Levels.

What these self-care options do is help me to keep my stress at a manageable level. With my stress at a manageable level, life does not hurt quite as much as it could. And when I am not in so much emotional pain, it is so much easier to step up and take on the next amazing opportunity. Though I also realize that emotional pain is also the reason why I wouldn’t want to do everything on my list that would help reduce my stress. Self-care can be hard to want to do as well sometimes. But that may be for another article…

No matter what, I need to act. I just need to just toughen up and do what I need to do knowing that if I don’t, more unnecessary pain awaits. I have chosen to live. And if I am going to live, even though i know pain is inevitable, I would rather not suffer.

This is the message I want to leave you with today. I hope you choose to live today, to step up and keep moving through the pain. Because in my strong opinion, it is entirely worth it. Don’t give up. When the hard work gets put in, the beautiful rewards may be just around the corner. It would be a shame for anyone to give up just before “the miracle” of positive change happens.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

To see our Terms and Conditions click here

 

Making the Commitment to Live Life.

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An incredible skill that I have learned in recovery is commitment.

If you have had some trouble making positive commitments in your life, then stick around and read this.

My Troubles With Commitment.

Throughout my life I had a terribly difficult time committing to much of anything. When I did commit to something, I looked good out of the gates. Over time though my commitment quickly descended into oblivion. Addiction had a grip on me for way too long. The only thing I really could commit myself to was numbing pain with chemicals. By the time I used for my last time, even my commitment to using disappeared, thank god…

Of course, I don’t really call the actions taken while in active addiction, my own personal commitment. I didn’t feel in charge of that process. I was more like a crazed squirrel, foraging to gather enough nuts to make sure it doesn’t starve during the winter. It was pure instinct. Pure instinct to protect me from the perceived danger of coming down. Insane or not, my brain was doing its best to protect me.

In fact, the way I ended up getting clean was because my family contacted Social Services, they worked out the process of terminating my rights to do anything but go to treatment for one year.

I was insane. They all knew it. Though it took some time to realize how crazy I actually was.

Help Commitment

Thankfully someone else made that commitment when I couldn’t do it for myself.

It wasn’t until I began waking up from my fog in treatment and at recovery meetings that I began making the decisions that would lay the groundwork for making positive commitments.

The Turnaround for Commitment In My Life.

During my time in treatment I realized that even though I was under state commitment, I needed to make this recovery and my life my own. So, when they said I needed to go to 2 recovery meetings a week, I decided to go to one pretty much every day. And when I had to earn points to go outside by doing homework, you better believe I was all over that.

I went above and beyond, to show MYSELF that this was mine. That this is my life and I am choosing to live. And that I am not being forced to.

This is the type of mentality that has helped me to have the last almost 10 years clean! As well as accomplishing many lifelong dreams like being happily married, becoming a father, graduating college and owning a home.

The level of commitment I have for life has grown immensely over the years. And the stakes have gotten remarkably higher. Even though the stakes are higher, the process of achieving goals stays the same.  Plus, I don’t get to relax just because I have achieved a lot in the last 10 years.

Commitment to Dream

Being All-in With Commitment.

My brain needs excitement. And to feel like I am living MY OWN life, I need to live above and beyond my current situation, while working hard in my current situation.

This is how a mind stays connected to building a great future reality, letting MYSELF know, my RELATIONSHIPS know, and even LIFE ITSELF know that I am ALL-IN. When we show that we are ALL-IN with our commitments, the amount of blessings come into my world is tremendous!

Life can be amazing, not so damn boring. This takes effort though and consistent reminders to keep moving.

If you are struggling with feeling like your living your own life today, you have some decisions to make. Right here and right now you can make the decision to make your life more of your own!

It’s not like anyone else can do this for us…

In our next article we will discuss living life on default. Which  is neglecting to make enough positive commitment with our lives. Living on default has horribly negative effects. I will talk about them, then lay out some important guidelines for staying off default mode and finding a life worth living.

Thank you so much for stopping by, if you enjoyed this article we would love for you to do a few things for us.
  1. Please share this article on your social media.
  2. Join our email list below, which will get you a copy of our Therapeutic Writing Guide, and have our new articles sent directly to your email.
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Much Love,
Travis H

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Hello, we are Travis and Casey Hagen the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds to find healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. There is plenty for us to share with you about finding better ways to live. So please follow us on our journey as we share what we know, and continue to share as we invitably learn more.

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Relationships : About Contribution, Not Management.

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In this article are touching on the principle of contribution in relationships. This is a tremendously important aspect of keeping relationships healthy.

The writers of My Life Experiment are a married couple, myself and my wife Casey. We come from similar life paths, in that we have lived through the pain of addiction. And that we both found and have thrived in recovery from addiction. More often than not have been strongly supportive contributions to the fulfillment of each other’s ambitions. Through the duration of our relationship we have come to understand how important the principle of contribution is to relationship growth.

What is Healthy Relationship Contribution.

To contribute is to give. To give what? Well to enhance the healthy aspects of our relationships, we give what will benefit the growth of these healthy aspects. The contribution could be time, money, words of inspiration, honesty about hurt feelings, or anything else that is done in a spirit of goodwill for the relationship.

Contributing to the health of a relationship is about building the relationship up, rather than tearing it down. We can give a great deal of our anger to a close relationship of ours, this is also a contribution. But it is a contribution that will not lead to or enhance a long term healthy relationship.

 

Dock photo

What has worked so well in Casey and I’s relationship is that we have our own personalities, our own friends, and our own recoveries. I don’t feel the need to attempt to micromanage Casey’s life, and Casey has been able to do the same for me. Thank god!

We are able to have all of these things be separate, but still come together on enough things so that our relationship isn’t left to be too needy.

I don’t know about you, but I can get the feeling of suffocation quickly in any relationship. Without necessary space I am likely to freak out. I tend to be a bit of an introvert as I discussed a couple of posts back. That and I have had ample problems with other people’s expectations, and with those I perceive to be authority figures.

I remember one time when I was cleaning the fridge back at our old apartment. As I was cleaning, Casey walked by and said “Great job babe” or something similar. My immediate response was “you’re not my manager.” It was pretty funny to me, but I think it took Casey a little for bit for her to have the same sentiment for the comment.

Just so you know, I don’t believe my wife is my manager.

I have given ample thought to this situation and here is what I am concluding. Some unresolved stuff in me thought that she was trying to condition my behavior… So, I revolted!

I imagine this feeling is common place in relationships that require this amount of time to be spent together. Or maybe I am just justifying my behavior.

Despite occasional revolts from feelings of being controlled, thankfully Casey and I have worked well together! But it isn’t controlling each other that has helped our lives together grow so rapidly.

We certainly push each other, encourage each other, and compliment each other! We understand that in order to have a happy relationship, we need to change, grow, and find success in new territories.

Casey knows that my success is her success, and my clean fridge is her clean fridge. And most of the time, I stay reminded of the very same thing!

Team Players!

We understand that we are a team. We realize that the team needs the fridge to be cleaned, the litter boxes to be emptied, the dishes to be done, and so on and so forth with the never ending list of responsibilities there are to take care of.

Even though sometimes innocent comments about my cleaning performance can be viewed as attempts to condition my behavior, it doesn’t really matter because that is all part of the process.

To be in a healthy, intimate relationship, we must allow the other person to leave their mark on us. They need to know that their needs, are needs that not only they care about.

Now does it really matter that compliments may be a great way to make it more likely that someone will behave the way I would like them to? When it comes to having a healthy relationship, of course not!

Casey isn’t making me be in my marriage, nobody is making me show up to weekly baby appointments, and cleaning the litter box. Nobody is forcing Casey to make any contribution to My Life Experiment blog, or any of the thousand contributions she has made to my life.

We choose to be in this relationship. And we choose to make it a healthy one. Both individually and mutually making contributions to each other!

A big reason I have been able to keep my end of this relationship healthy is because I have kept my own mental and emotional health in check. This has come from me showing up for my personal recovery.

Another great tool I have is the Therapeutic Writing Guidelines we have developed. This writing process has made huge contribution after huge contribution to my recovery. If you would like to obtain a printable copy, go ahead and join My Life Experiment’s email list on the side bar! You will get a printable Therapeutic Writing Guide, as well as receive our new blog posts directly to your email.

Thank you very much for stopping in to My Life Experiment once again or for the first time. We appreciate you all for supporting this family endeavor!

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Hello, we are Travis and Casey Hagen the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds to find healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. There is plenty for us to share with you about finding better ways to live. So please follow us on our journey as we share what we know, and continue to share as we invitably learn more.

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The Pros and Cons of Being Naturally Not so Social.

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A couple of weeks ago on My Life Experiment I wrote about “Gaining Self-Acceptance for my Not So Social Nature.”

In this article I just want to lay out some of the pro’s and con’s to having a social style that doesn’t desire all that much social interaction.

I enjoy laying out the cons to things, since then I can build up the thing with the pros at the end!

Some Cons to Having a Not So Social Nature:

  1. Not seeking many opportunities to socialize- I know that socializing is very important for maintaining mental and emotional health. My style leads me to isolate pretty easily if I am not careful. And isolation is not good for my continued growth.
  2. When I want to Socialize, others may not want to- Sometimes I really do feel like socializing. The whole introverted thing is not an all or nothing proposition, I just happen to be more inclined to not want to socialize than to want to. So, since I am really good at hanging out with myself, I sometimes find it difficult to let people believe I actually want to hang out!
  3. Style Strengthens with use- I understand that what I do most often, is what I am learning most about doing more. I don’t learn how to socialize more until I actually socialize more often. To be more balanced with my social life, acting out on my nature too effectively does not help me learn a new way of living my life.
  4. People Might Follow me- People that may watch what I do in recovery sometimes see my style and think, “well if Travis doesn’t socialize then why should I.” This could lead someone that naturally has a more social engagement style to isolate themselves from the growth that comes from interacting with others. I help other addicts in recovery, and we tend to take things to extremes!
  5. Not selling myself enough- Lets face it, to be successful in life requires selling our personal brand (reputation)! In order to be selling, I need to put myself in front of buyers! That goes for this blog, my job, my recovery, and every other relationship. If I don’t sell people on my reality, they will naturally go up into their heads and make assumptions about me. And these assumptions may not benefit the kind of life I desire to live!

pros and cons

Some Pros to Having a Not So Social Nature:

  1. Recharge my own batteries- Many people need others to recharge their batteries. I do find some recharge from other people as well! But more often than not, I find that other peeps drain my batteries more than charge them up. So, when I need to recharge I can do some meditating, do some writing or just relax, and boom my batteries are all charged up!
  2. A Unique Life Perspective- I have spent much of my life sizing up the world. I sit back, and I watch, I study, I read. When I open my mouth, the thoughts are usually from a perspective that other people haven’t thought about! This has led me to come up with creative ways to solve problems that maybe other people are not thinking of.
  3. Development of Self Knowledge- To not be surrounded by people has helped me get to know myself in a way that I would have had a difficult time doing while being constantly surrounded by others. I realize that gaining self-knowledge does require some social engagement, but ample time reflecting by myself is paramount for me getting to know myself.
  4. Freedom from social expectations- Now that I have been gaining more acceptance of my social style I have been able to separate the expectations of others, from expectations I actually care to take responsibility for meeting. This frees me up to do more things that I care to do, instead of running around co-dependently taking on too many other peoples
  5. Time for Making my own Decisions- Something that I deeply need and enjoy is having peace and quiet for making big decisions. I feel that if I do not think through my decisions that I may end up acting irrationally. Thankfully I am quite alright being solely in my own company, so I can peacefully come up with my own part of the plan without the presence of other people. Then If I cannot figure out the plan, I can then communicate with others to figure out the rest.

I realize that my nature is naturally Not So Social but writing this Cons and Pros list has opened my eyes to some new insights!

The world that I live in, in order to find great success, does seem to favor those that are more extroverted and willing to socialize. So, for me to find the kind of success I desire, and desire for my family, does require me to crack open my not so social shell from time to time!

I realize that just because my nature tends to be naturally not so social, that does not mean that I cannot learn to be more social. But that it is quite alright for me to respect my limits and not expect myself to be something that I am not.

If there is one thing I hope that you get out of this article, I hope that you can see that it is perfectly fine to be yourself. This goes for if you have a not so social nature, as well as if you have in my opinion, too social of a nature.

I also hope that you take one more thing from this article. I hope that you see that whatever social type of nature you have, there are many bonuses to learn how to be more of your opposite. My Life Experiment is all about learning new ways to live. I cannot simply accept my not so social nature, and let it be that. I have my tendencies but there is always room for improvement.

I wish you well on your path of learning how to learning more about your social nature. And thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment today. If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us.
  1. Please like and leave a comment below.
  2. Share this article on your social media.
  3. Follow our Facebook page!
  4. Join our email list below, which will get you a copy of our Therapeutic Writing Guide, and have our new articles sent directly to your email.

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Hello, we are Travis and Casey Hagen the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds to find healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. There is plenty for us to share with you about finding better ways to live. So please follow us on our journey as we share what we know, and continue to share as we invitably learn more.

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Allowing Expectations for Our Success.

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There are Necessary Expectations

To have all the things we desire most, means hard work. It also means putting ourselves in the position to have other people help us. As well as allowing them to increase the amount of expectation they have for our performance.

Let’s face it, if people around us aren’t expecting much, this is a life snuffing ordeal. If people are not expecting much, then what kind of motivation will we get from them? Probably not much.

But I suppose this is only for the type of life I desire to live. Some may appreciate a life with as few expectations on them as possible. I have before as well, and still do often. I have also found out that the ambition coursing through my veins will not allow me to be comfortable with a life of low expectations.

Don’t get me wrong though, most of the time when realizing someone is expecting something challenging of me, I do have that initial thought of “who in the hell do you think you are.” Our initial tend to keep us engaged in mindsets and behaviors that resist change. So, when someone recommends we do something that challenges our mindset, a defense mechanism coming up is pretty normal.

resist man.jpg

Reactions to Expectations.

I tend to resort defenses like over-intellectualizing or sarcastic humor to try to avoid allowing the advice they may be trying to impart into my skull. I get the feeling I reactively avoid the advice because if I allow them to see it make sense to me, then they may EXPECT me to follow through. I don’t know about you, but I am not a fan of feeling that someone is trying to control me.

I laugh there because there is nothing about allowing the other persons advice to be logical, that says I need to do what they said. Let alone have it “Control” me. But I might need to do what they preach if I am going to receive the results in life that I desire!

I don’t know what it is in my brain that has me believing that if other people expect something from me, that they have some sort of control over me. But I am guessing that I am not alone. The truth is that there are so many people that know a ton more about every subject available, than ourselves alone. And if we want what they have to offer, we are going to be able to allow them to influence us.

We need to allow them to expect some things of us and allow them to let us know when we am not meeting those expectations. This can be a very hard pill to swallow. Let’s look at some ways that we can help this pill go down a little more smoothly.

9 Habits for Allowing my Relationships to Have Healthy Expectations for me.

1. Stay on top of my decision making.

I find that it is easier to allow people to help me when I am consistently making the decisions I need to make. I tend to feel people are trying to control me more, when I am not feeling in control of my daily affairs.

2. Find Challenging People.

I find it important to have people around me that will help push me to be my most productive self. By having people that will help me actualize my goals instead of push their own on me, has taught me to have healthy relationships.

3. Find out Which challenge style works best for me

Some people may push their expectations for me like drill instructors, and others as gentle as can be. I tend to like a mixture of these, although I get annoyed at both. But if it seems like someone is trying to mother me, that is what I am looking for, the least.

4. Make sure the expectations are healthy.

I desire a healthy life so if the expectations people are having for me are not healthy, then I cannot meet them. I also will not be able to continue the relationship.

5. Follow people that care for me.

When I know that people have my best interests in mind, it definitely makes it easier to let them have expectations for me. Though sometimes these might be the ones I fight back against the most. But also, who’s advice I will likely end up following.

6. Choose credibility.

I find it easier to allow people to have expectations for me if I know they practice what they preach. If someone isn’t willing to follow their own advice they give me, it makes it much more difficult to follow their advice.

7. Stay Reminded of Rewards.

If I am having a hard time allowing someone to have expectation, I can keep myself reminded of why I am seeking advice from them in the first place. I am seeking because I desire something. Whether I am desiring the rewards I will receive from emotional support, business advice, parenting advice or whatever other advice I may seek.

8. Do Our Own Research.

Just because I trust someone doesn’t mean I should just be blindly following their advice. If I have extra questions for them, I ask them. If I need to do further research, then I do that too. If I don’t do my own research, I tend to blame the person I sought to help guide me.

9. Remind myself that its ultimately my decision.

No one makes our decisions for us. Even when we feel like they are. Reminding ourselves that we are not a victims to other people’s guidance, and that we ultimately make the decision ourselves helps a lot.

None of us have all the answers, but other people can help us get at least some more answers. But we need to allow them to challenge our current thinking and allow them to have some expectations for our growth. Their help is vital to growing in our own little worlds, but only we can allow them to help.

Never Stop Learning

That is all we have for today, and thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth. We wish you growth on your path of becoming better at accepting healthy expectations from others. If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us.
  1. If you would like to help support this website by offsetting some of the costs of running it. There is a PayPal button below or in the right sidebar, depending on if you are viewing with mobile or by computer.
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  3. Share this article on your social media.
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[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_blurb title=”My Life Experiment” image=”https://mylifeexperimentdotblog.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/9db50-3ca83-2-1.jpg&#8221; _builder_version=”3.0.106″ saved_tabs=”all” url_new_window=”off” use_icon=”off” icon_color=”#919191″ use_circle=”off” icon_placement=”top” background_layout=”light” use_circle_border=”off” use_icon_font_size=”off” global_module=”3875″]

Welcome! We are Travis and Casey Hagen, the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds. Finding healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. We promote Healthy Life Experimentation Principles for connecting with ourselves, our relationships, and finding healthier ways of bringing about success in our lives. Stick around and pick up what we have learned. You will not be disappointed.

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Dealing With Disappointment.

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In this article we are going to discuss disappointment. This of course is a subject that all of us should be able to relate to, in some way or another.

What is Disappointment?

Oxford dictionary has disappointment defined as, “sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.”

Let’s face it, for all but probably a small percentage of the human population, the feeling of disappointment sucks. I think it would be difficult to learn to enjoy the feeling of the definition above.

The thing is, that the only way for me to experience success with is to take healthy risks. Taking risks always means the possibility of the risk not working out, and so possible disappointment.

When I think about the amount of disappointment I feel after a risk not working out, it is easy to see the relationship between disappointment and expectation.

Disappointment and Excitement for Outcomes.

The relationship between disappointment and expectation is like an equation to me. The amount of disappointment felt depends on the amount of expectation placed on a certain outcome. So, if I am really excited for a certain outcome, you better believe there will be a decent amount of disappointment if it doesn’t work out.

Of course, the inverse of this equation is also true. If I am not placing a lot of expectation on an outcome, I am likely to not be all that disappointed by it not coming together.

So here we have the solution to disappointment. All we have to do is not get too excited for having things go our way and we will never be too disappointed. Wait…. That sounds like a horrible way to go through life!

Disappointment and the Importance of Taking Risks.

When I first entered recovery, I was certainly not an excited guy, I was broken, and a nervous wreck. Many years of bottling up my potential had me needing to be on depression and anxiety medications. Before I got clean lived in a small world, killing myself with chemicals in an attempt to avoid the pain of not knowing how to live my life. Not taking healthy risks had a horrendous impact on my mental, physical and emotional health.

Disappointment RiskThe fact of the matter is that for me, if I am taking healthy risks I am going to feel stress. Also, if I am not taking sufficient healthy risks, I am going to build up stress anyway. As the stress builds in the background of my awareness consequences may come later as my brain seeks quick fixes for stress relief. And I probably won’t like the results of these quick fixes, that’s the reason I used so heavily.

So not taking risks as a way to avoid stress, ultimately ends up biting me in the butt. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Taking a risk and using all this energy on my terms sounds like the best way to go. Life is much better when I am seeking new ways of growing, taking risks, and putting myself out there to be disappointed from time to time.

Since disappointment is unavoidable for the kind of life I desire. I need ways to help navigate disappointment to make sure it does not eat me alive or deter me from taking sufficient healthy risks.

Methods for Successfully Managing Disappointment:

1. Feel the Pain.

Where there is disappointment, there is pain. The pain might tell me I am a failure, stupid for taking the risk, or that someone else had it out for me. It is immensely important to get in touch with these painful emotions so they don’t keep me from taking risks in the future.

2. Social Support.

Having people I trust is very important for dealing with disappointment. They can help me see any kind of silver linings that I may not be able to see. These trusted people may also be able to affirm any positive traits in myself that I may be overlooking. Without solid social support we are truly missing out.

3. Gratitude.

I work on focusing on what I have to be grateful for. This could be done by either writing a gratitude list or just taking some time out to run through a list in my head. If the disappoint stings really bad, I don’t count on one gratitude session doing the trick. By taking a risk, I obviously wanted something more in my life. So, taking some time to remind myself that there are plenty of things to appreciate about my current life, can be highly therapeutic.

4. Having Patience.

I need to remind myself that heavy disappointment will not be worked through overnight. If I really had my heart set on an outcome and I didn’t get it, it is going to hurt. But keeping myself informed that I will feel better about it over time, helps a lot.

5. Giving credit for taking a risk.

It can be easy to become disheartened by a “failed risk,” maybe thinking it was stupid to waste time and resources. Reminding myself that putting myself out there to take a healthy risk is a commendable thing, is very important!

6. Focus on what can be learned.

Having taken the risk (even if it didn’t work out) I still gained some extra skills from the experience. The experience can also show me what didn’t work with the risk I took. If I examine what went wrong, I can possibly formulate another plan of action for the next risky attempt!

7. Get back to the basics.

While I am dealing with disappointment, the emotions can get in the way of being present in the relationships I currently am a part of. I find that when I make the effort to pump some of that energy that had me taking the risk into giving more to my marriage, my work, my family, that the disappointment doesn’t do as much damage to my mind.

Conclusion.

Disappointment OkayTaking healthy risks is an important part of my life. I do not see anything wrong with the strong desire to expand life and learn new things. I find that if I neglect to allow my energy to create in the world by taking healthy risks, this energy IS going to come out sideways in negative ways. This will make life much more difficult for myself and those around me!

As for all of you, I cannot say what risks you should be taking. Though I can say that if you are anything like me, you better be taking some. Life can be a beautiful thing, full of opportunity to expand, love, and learn. So on that note, GO GET SOME. It’s all going to be okay.

 

 

Thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment today. If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us!

  1. Please like and leave a comment below.
  2. Share this article on your social media.
  3. Join our email list, which will get you a copy of our Therapeutic Writing Guide, and have our new articles sent directly to your email.
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Much love,

Travis Hagen

 

*Note that the advice given in this article is not meant to replace the role of Mental Health Professionals.

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Welcome! We are Travis and Casey Hagen, the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds. Finding healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. We promote Healthy Life Experimentation Principles for connecting with ourselves, our relationships, and finding healthier ways of bringing about success in our lives. Stick around and pick up what we have learned. You will not be disappointed.

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5 Methods for Easing Through Confusion.

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Today I’m going to touch on the topic of Confusion. I am seeking to answer a couple of questions here from my own perspective.

1. What is confusion?
2. Why can confusion be so painful?
3. How can I release the confusion?
4. What are the good aspects of confusion

Living a successful life is all about gathering information to learn new concepts and new tasks. This means plenty of potential confusion to deal with. So, what is confusion?

What is Confusion for me?

Let me work this out with an example from when I was attending College. I had to take an Intermediate Algebra class. I know for many of you a class like this might be a walk in the park but for an ex using addict like myself it was a different story.

But lets back track a tiny bit. For many years I lived experimenting in very unhealthy ways. I bypassed basically all forms of Algebra, and most other forms of healthy learning. This made my learning very difficult once I had to face it at University.

Sometimes I would sit and rack my damn brain trying to figure out the way to solve the equations. There were times when I was ready to throw my computer out the window and literally beat my head against a wall. But thankfully I never did either of those.

After a 45-minute study session, sometimes I would have my brain thoroughly twisted into a knot. Of course brains do not twist in knots. Though there are a ton of times where the gaps between what I knew and what needed to be known, were painfully very far apart.

I don’t know the exact science of what is going on inside my brain when I am confused. Though I do imagine great deal of neurons working hard to connect with one another.

Why the Pain of Confusion?

Just being mildly confused alone doesn’t seem to be enough to cause pain. The pain of confusion comes when pressure is applied.

The kind of pressure I am talking about is when something needs to be accomplished by a deadline and aren’t sure how. Throw in an overly critical self-voice  that doesn’t know healthy expectation to go along with this and we have a recipe for painful learning. 

When I am in the pain part of confusion I can become ultra-sensitive. I take it that I have a massive amount of electrical activity going on between my ears.

If someone even talks around me they may get a dirty look. I may even be on the verge of telling these unsuspecting offenders some unnecessary pieces of my mind.

head stress.jpg

Now this depth of confusion is hopefully not a constant thing for you. But when there is pressure to meet a deadline that we don’t exactly know how to meet, it is likely that we will find ourselves in this mental state.

If you are like me, having high desire for a successful life and working to get it, then you will not likely be able to avoid these feelings. But with some simple methods you can ease the pain of confusion, so it doesn’t have you throwing objects or cursing people out.

5 Methods for Easing Through Painful Learning.

1. Begin Projects early

Going to College taught me that if I leave things to the last minute, I am setting myself up for a great deal of stress.

Spacing out my learning over a longer period of time, makes it more likely that I will not be as hopelessly confused the night before something is due.

2. Breathe

When getting sensitive and angry while confused, concentrating on breathing is imperative. The breathes help create a space to settle down and relax the brain so that it isn’t so tense anymore.

3. Take breaks

I’ve found that if I work on a challenging problem for too long, it is easy to become pissed. When the stress is building to an uncomfortable level, it is time to put the work aside, at least for a little while anyway.

4. Stretch

Even taking a couple of minutes to do a little stretching can relieve a lot of that stress that is building in our extremities. This can help the brain relax since it ends up getting fewer messages of tenseness from the body.

The brain can receive more freedom to be creative on a project, simply by doing a little stretching.

5. Sleep on it

Sleep can be like a long break. It has a way of untangling the mess that is in a brain.

I have gone to sleep completely confused then woke up mentally clear and recharged many times.

That sleep recharge has helped bring important new ideas to problems being solved. If I would have just kept working on it through the night, I can only imagine I would turn these problems into jumbled messes.

The Good aspects of Confusion.

Where there is confusion, there is learning. To me, that is the good news. I, would even venture an assumption that the stronger the confusion, the more learning is happening.

That there is confusion, lets us know that we are challenging ourselves. Challenging ourselves happens to be uncomfortable. But not creating sufficient challenges for ourselves will lead to a boring yet stressful existence.

I also find it to be true that the greater the confusion equals a greater sense of satisfaction once the thing is learned and the project is complete.

There is great feelings in figuring out something that has been giving a good challenge. Knowing that many of those possibly dormant neurons got educated well and got to make new connections actually can give hope for more having more success in the future.

Being able to surprise ourselves with unexpected successful results feels amazing.

A few last words.

The last couple things I have to say to you all about confusion is, welcome it. Challenge yourself, make yourself think.

Learning more and challenging our abilities, actually can help ward off Alzheimer’s Disease.

Now I cannot say what is a healthy amount of challenge for everybody. I can only figure that out for myself. Everybody will have a different level of confusion that they can handle.

But I do believe that if we listen to our instincts close enough, they will let us know what is a challenge we should take on and one that is better left for later.

Thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment today. What was written here comes from experience, learning, struggle and growth.

We hope that you will take what you read here and EXPERIMENT with these principles in you own life. If you enjoyed what you read we would love if you could do a few things for us.

  1. Sign up for our Free 7 Day Impulses Negotiation Email Course.
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Welcome! We are Travis and Casey Hagen, the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds. Finding healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. Life is meant to be lived. That is why we promote Healthy Life Experimentation Principles for connecting with ourselves, our relationships, and finding healthier ways of bringing about success in our lives. Stick around and pick up what we have learned. You will not be disappointed.

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Developing “Magic” in My Life

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* This article contains affiliate links which are for selling products on Amazon which I earn a commission for. I only promote products that are relevant to this websites purpose of personal growth. These sales make it possible for My Life Experiment to run as successfully as possible.

Using “The Magic” for my Gratitude Experiment.

Hey everybody, today I am going to fill you in on an amazing book called “The Magic” that changed my life several years ago and up to the present.

About a month ago I set off on the “Gratitude Intention,” experiment, to get help with my mental and emotional health. In that experiment I laid out the method I would use to write the gratitude lists that were a big part of the experiment. 

I said that I would be writing 10 things to be grateful for and why I am grateful for them. This method has been incredibly helpful over the years, but it is not a method that I invented. It came from “The Magic.”

It was a great experience that I received great benefits from! But what the experiment also reminded me of was where my roots with the routine began.

About 7 years ago I was going through a breakup with my ex-fiancé. Though the breakup didn’t just have to be with my ex, it also had to be from her little boy. I went through a period where things were very sticky with my mind. Basically becauseI was having a terribly difficult time staying in reality and out of my obsessive mind.

In this time I latched on much closer to my recovery community, but I also found “The Magic.” And you better believe that am immensely grateful that I did!

What is the “The Magic”?

“The Magic” is the third book stemming from “The Secret.” You may know that “The Secret” is a book on learning how to use the “Law of Attraction” for creating abundance in our lives. If you didn’t know that then now you do!

You may be thinking, “oh great this fruitcake is going to tell me that if I think about a new car enough it is going to magically show up.” Well I am not writing this to promote “The Secret,” although it has some decent concepts in it! What I am interested in discussing is “The Magic,” and what it has to offer. And sorry but I don’t think new cars are going to instantly appear by applying this book either..

I would describe “The Magic” as giving a practical 28 day long guide to experiment with amplifying the level of gratitude in our lives. It is a 28 day long program to help develop a  long term habit out of expressing gratitude. “The Magic” fills in a lot of the details about attracting abundance that “The Secret” failed at doing, and wasn’t really designed to do.

I remember when I picked up the book, I started reading it and immediately wanted to speed read through because the content felt so inspiring. Speed reading wasn’t really allowed though because the book asked me to slow down and work on daily tasks. The different daily tasks gave me methods for pumping more love and gratitude into my life and any other relationships!

Two Routines that Changed my World.

Day one of the Gratitude Course is the 10 things I am grateful for and why, gratitude list. The next day is finding a nice rock to use as a gratitude invoking rock.

These two gratitude building methods stayed in my life for quite a long time after first completing the book. I wrote gratitude lists everyday for around 4 years, I also carried the rock for around 3 years. I still use in my life less frequently today, though they still have a powerful impact on me.

The daily tasks build on each other over the course of following the process. Though soon I was using several methods to build gratitude that really had me feeling on top of the world. This feeling did require work though, and adherence to practicing the steps that are provided. It also takes some letting go of judgment of the process!

This book fits My Life Experiment though and may not fit everyone’s experiment process. It fits My Life Experiment because I believe that there is a genius inside every human being, that will find a way to bring about whatever they desire if given the right tools. I have no doubt that intention, gratitude and hustling harder are the right tools. And this book has a process for developing more gratitude than any other book I have read before!

How my Past Experience with “The Magic” Turned out.

Remember how I was telling you about how “The Magic” came into my life. Yes the break up…

There was a month there where the grief of the break up had me moderately depressed, and extremely confused. I really wasn’t sure what to do with myself.

One very important thing that practicing “The Magic” and its rigorous form of gratitude building did was keep me out of my own head. It kept me focused on the beauty in my life and allowed me to remind myself that hope existed for amazing relationships and wealth to come into my world.

What it did for me was help keep me from sinking into the depths of depression, which is something that has happened many times throughout my life.

I am grateful for this book, I give it credit for helping me save my own sanity.

I have bought this book for several people over the years and will buy it for more as time goes on. If you are interested in purchasing “The Magic” there is a link set up for you below. Using this link to purchase “The Magic” as well as any other purchase you make through the Amazon Affiliate Link will benefit the purpose of My Life Experiment Blog.

Thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment today. If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us!

  1. Please Like and leave a comment below.
  2. Share this article on your social media.
  3. Join our email list, which will get you a copy of our Therapeutic Writing Guide, and have our new articles sent directly to your email.
  4. Follow the conversation on our Facebook Page!

 

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Welcome! We are Travis and Casey Hagen, the writer’s and owner’s of My Life Experiment. As recovering Individuals, we are no strangers to leaving behind dysfunctional ways of living. Over the years we have become adept at managing our intense mental and emotional worlds. Finding healing from the past, peace in the present and new ways to bring about success for our futures. We promote Healthy Life Experimentation Principles for connecting with ourselves, our relationships, and finding healthier ways of bringing about success in our lives. Stick around and pick up what we have learned. You will not be disappointed.

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