Importance of Proactive Decision Making.

Making a decision is not always the easiest thing to do. Though living in a world such as ours we don’t seem to have much of a choice, in having to make a decision.

Lets look a little deeper into the topic of decision making to find ways for taking healthy control of our lives, instead of feeling tossed around by the demands of life.

Decision and Indecision.

In this life we are constantly being pushed down a path that forces us into making one decision after another. It seems that not choosing is not an option.

What I mean by this is described well by a phrase I’ve heard along my path of addiction recovery. “Our indecisions make our decisions.” Meaning that when the opportunities to make a decision arrive and we avoid it, that is in fact a decision in itself. And by that indecision, we will be left with the consequences.

Now I don’t mean to be too dark or hope draining here but I have to say this. To exist is, in a sense, to be in a sort of trap. We are pushed forward by our own bodily impulses, peer pressures, social norms, and of course nature.

Now you may be thinking, “yep I knew it, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.” But that isn’t at all the case. It just so happens that if we are on our A-games decision making wise, life pushing us along can feel less trap like. When we show up and take responsibility for our decision making, we can feel much more in control of our lives.

Proactive or Reactive in Decision Making.

We are making all sorts of decisions, all the time. Some of these decisions are no-brainers and don’t require much or any thought. Such as when in public and we get the urge to urinate, I’m sure most of us don’t think too hard about wetting ourselves where we stand. We immediately begin looking for a good place to take care of business. But some of our decisions can be complicated and take time to work out. Such as picking or changing careers,  having children or not, or deciding how our family will spend it’s hard earned cash.

Of course there are decisions that we cannot avoid and those that we set up ourselves. The trick is to take as proactive approach as possible, instead of a reactive one.

An individual taking a proactive approach steps up to take responsibility for decision making. Deciding to use these opportunities to create paths in life they can appreciate. Whereas a reactive approach to decision making is one where we just take what life hands us. Using our creative energies to cope with the onslaught of decisions for which we don’t feel much responsibility. I see the proactive approach as the one which leads to a more fulfilled and enjoyable life. 

Tips for Staying Proactive in Our Decision Making Process.

Having a proactive approach to making decisions, may not immediately seem like the easiest route to take. It may seem easier to lay back and live the path of “least resistance.” But often enough what seems like the easier path, lends itself to many more difficulties down the road.

The extra effort given to stepping up to take care of decision making proactively, saves an incredible amount of time and energy. So here are some tips we have compiled to help guide proactive decision making.

1. Work on Getting to Know Ourselves.

Staying awake to our decision making requires us to make conscious effort to pay attention to our lives. It requires us to study ourselves, our desires, our assets, our liabilities, our mental and emotional tendencies. Without committing proper attention to self-knowledge, we will likely wake up to our lives not really feeling like our own. Life is much more enjoyable when we are able to make decisions based on our own beliefs and personalities.

Sure what has been passed on to us is somewhat important, as are societies expectations, and even the decisions of our pasts. We can still allow these aspects to guide us somewhat, but too much guidance from them doesn’t respect the direction of living our own lives.

2. Touching Base with Our Own Conscience.

We all have our own consciences. Now what you believe a conscience to be, that is up to you. For me I believe it is my internal guidance system. It is based on my own thoughts and feelings. If something doesn’t feel right to me, or I get that feeling that this opportunity is good to go, I say that is my conscience speaking.

To get it active before I make a decision there are some things I tend to do. Before making an decent size decision for my life I find it helpful to ask myself some questions. Such as what am I looking for here? Is this opportunity for me or is it meant for someone else? What these questions do is frame my mind to look for answers to them. I may not get the answers right away, or I might. Generally the process takes extra internal and external research.

If time is going by and I am still not feeling right with an answer, I do some therapeutic writing. Writing mainly to get in touch with any emotion that may be in the way of my answer. If I am still not getting my answer I turn to gathering a group conscience.

3. Gather up a Group Conscience.

A method I have learned for investigating an opportunity until I know the right decision to make, is group conscience. That means enlisting the knowledge of people I trust that might have a viewpoint on what I can’t quite put my finger on. By gathering information from these people and their respective consciences, I am able to get a better grasp on what decision I should currently be making. It’s difficult to explain when group conscience has been met. But for me when it has, I feel it, and then I just know.

Though remember, when gathering group conscience we are seeking our own answers, not somebody else’s. We are seeking to put the puzzle pieces in our own mind together. Plenty of people in this world will tell us what we should be doing on every subject available. But that is the lazy approach. Developing our own reasons for the decisions we make teaches so much more.

Decision Conscience

4. Make Decisions Promptly but Still do the Research.

Making decisions promptly is important for not missing out on great opportunities. But making decisions too quickly without feeling the consequences are understood is just as important. Acting too hastily might work out just fine, and sometimes we may need to do just that. But if there is time for researching and gathering a group conscience, do so, and do so ASAP. It is best to be walking into new opportunities understanding what is at risk. Though sometimes our conscience is ready to make the right decision at a moments notice. Other times we need to just walk away.

5. Take Responsibility for Decisions Made.

Too feel in control of our lives, we have to take responsibility for where our lives are at. To feel responsible for where we are at, we must take responsibility for the decisions we made that got us here. Taking responsibility helps us feel less like victims of circumstance. It allows us to feel more in charge of the direction of our lives. Therefore more readily available to continue handling the opportunities that come into our paths with confidence.

6. Take Risks and Make Plans.

We have say in the lives we get to live. Our creative natures reach out to expand into the world based on our own based on our own desires. When ideas start pointing in directions we haven’t though of before, and our emotions are longing for something new, it’s time to create. If we don’t allow them and are constantly catering to others needs, anger, resentment, depression, begin to brew.

So we need to make plans, take risks, work through disappointment and rejection. Our happiness, contentment and feelings of living our own lives depends on it.

Closing Thoughts.

Life can feel rather forceful at times, for sure. But if we spend the time to develop a proactive decision making process, we can be prepared for it. And as prepared decision makers, we will be able to get much more out of this beautiful life than if we weren’t.

That is all we have for today, and thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth. We wish you growth on your path of becoming proactive decision makers . If you enjoyed what you read then I would love for you to do a couple things for us.




Relaxation is Our Own Responsibility.

Life can be go go go far too often. The mind moving from one thing to the next, non-stop and habitually. My brain, in particular, cannot handle this type of activity for long. It has been immensely important for me to set aside time for Relaxation.

Balance Between Stress and Relaxation?

It is important to have a certain amount of stress in our lives to pump energy into our daily affairs. Though it is easy to go from a healthy amount to a territory of stress that will inhibit being productive.

According to the Yerkes-Dodson Law, “performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, but only up to a point. When levels of arousal become too high, performance decreases.” The law asserts that stress is only helpful when it is in a range that is not too low and not too high. Not too little stress because then there will not be enough energy to keep us engaged with an activity. And not too high of stress because then our nerves may get in the way of us being productive and successful.

There is a balancing act to be played with when it comes to how much we should relax and how much we should be amped up. This isn’t always easy with the world running at the speed it goes at today.

Balance Relaxation

The World wants a lot of Us.

To be honest, the world, in general, wants a lot out of each and every one of us. I am not saying that it seeks to keep us amped up, but does a damn good job of doing this. When it comes to finding the balance between stress and relaxation, the balance must come from our own efforts. The world wants our time and energy and we must decide how much of them it gets.

Relaxation is on me, people generally won’t let me know I need to relax until I am showing significant signs of fatigue. If I am getting too amped up with anger someone will say “maybe it is time to chill out man”! And when the bags under my eyes are hanging way low someone will ask, ” Hey, you look wrecked.”

This isn’t me complaining about how the world divvies out expectations, only saying I’m responsible to ensure I’m relaxing enough.

Relaxation Isn’t Always Easy.

Relaxing my mind after being busy can be like a full speed freight train putting on the breaks and stopping. It can take a mile or more for the train to come to a halt. The same goes for my mind when I am attempting relaxation. When too amped up and trying to relax, my mind has to go through a laundry list of items to process. The laundry list isn’t good or bad, my brain just needs to process it.

My biggest problem with relaxation is an attachment to electronic devices. In my car the radio is on, I get home and Netflix gets turned on, and the cellphone is a formidable adversary to my mind taking a nice break. The problem is that when I have time designated for relaxation, the time is filled with a further flood of information from the devices.

While my brain is supposed to be processing existing info and emotions, the new info being brought in is getting in the way of the process, creating, even more, to be processed!

I don’t know how many relaxation sessions have turned into scrolling through Facebook. A half hour into the scroll session I find myself angry and overwhelmed and don’t really know why! Well, I know why I just flooded my brain and it was counterproductive to my relaxation!

This isn’t even an argument against Facebook or other social media, I find them very useful for different purposes. But once again RELAXATION IS ON ME. The World is not set up to have me turn away from it. It wants attention!

Relaxation Requires Commitment.

Without a doubt, our own relaxation is on ourselves. Once and awhile an angel of a person will come along and say “you need to rest my child”. But those encounters are few and far between, so I cannot wait around for them!

Relaxation requires commitment, and commitment to a plan nonetheless. Here are some tips to help plan out a successful relaxation session.

1. Set Aside Time for Relaxation.

Without Setting aside the time for relaxation we are doomed from the start. Write the time into the schedule, if possible make it a routine time every week. This can save stress and complaining of not knowing when we will be able to relax. It is okay to set aside our time for ourselves.

2. Learn how to say NO!

The World around us has limitless responsibilities to offer us. If we don’t say No to the offers that would take our relaxation time away, we will give the time away. This means more stress and lost opportunity to relax! That is unless the opportunity gives more relaxation than what I was already going to be doing. It is okay to say NO!

3. Use the Devices Wisely.

A lot of the time, my devices get in the way of my relaxation and they need to disappear for me to relax. Though there are also ways in which my devices may enhance the amount of relaxation I feel. Sometimes I can find a good song that comforts me or a good movie that invokes important emotion. Hell, I even used an app called Insight Timer to help me meditate more regularly. So if devices can be used to enhance the relaxation process or help us feel an emotion, I say that is a good use of them.

4. People Find Relaxation in Different Sources.

What is relaxing for me may not be relaxing for you. Whether you find relaxation in fishing, meditating, napping, getting a manicure, taking a long drive or whatever else, then awesome. Find these sources of relaxation and put them in the routine as fast as possible, to find balance in a hectic world.

Relaxation Is on Ourselves.

Relaxation Responsibility

If there is anything I wanted to It is that RELAXATION IS ON OURSELVES. I cannot relax for you and you cannot relax for me. Our families, our spouses, our friends may help in the process sometimes but they cannot force us to relax!

You are worth setting aside some time to chill out and process what is needed to be processed and get in touch with the present. It is rewarding and crucial that you and I find time to do so.

Be busy when you need to be. Find relaxation when needed as well. When we find the balance between the two in this crazy busy world, life is a beautiful thing.

Well, that is all we have for today and thank you so much for stopping into My Life Experiment. What is written here has come from struggle and growth.
We truly believe that if you take today’s lessons to heart and apply them, that you will greatly benefit.

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